LOL. Nope. It's a covenant. The one God knew He'd bring you into from before the foundation of the world. In baptism, parents present their child to God in recognition of this covenant.
Infant baptism acknowledges that God's covenant precedes a person's birth. It doesn't begin with an adult declaration of intent. It's God's intent that matters. Baptism is passive, as the reception of grace is passive, from Him to us.
"God pronounces that he adopts our infants as his children, before they are born, when he promises that he will be a God to us, and to our seed after us. This promise includes their salvation." -- Calvin, Institutes, 4.15.20
I think I understand. Thank you so much for helping me to comprehend all this. :) I am so thankful that this issue really does not lead to a greater disagreement on others. It seems pretty well self-contained.