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Kosta, thank you. I have tried to read "River of Fire" (I think that's what it was, the quoted text looks familiar) and while it may make sense to the Orthodox it doesn't to me. Even the logic left me behind, taking sudden turns I can't comprehend.

Unfortunately, I now have to leave for a busy day and half -- though I hope to check in tonight.

To understand Kosta's post you need to constantly think of two things. First God loves us. Everything that happens to us especially the bad stuff is a result of God's love for us. I remember hearing a story about a woman who had just lost her child after being hit by a car. Understandably the woman was a mess and very distraught she went into her Church crying and hysterical, screaming, "why,why would God do this to me." while she was in the Church that day she had a vision. The vision was of when the child was older, he would have been a drunk and lost his soul so God took him when he was young. One other thing about kosta's post is that we tend to think of the entire experience into Orthodoxy as a journey, a spiritual struggle and a transformation. One thing about myself that I can honestly say, is that I am not the same person that I was which believe me is a good thing. As for Orthodox Christians and the belief about death, we also believe that God will take us at our best point. Finally, since I started going to Church on a regular basis one of the many changes that has happened to me is that for the most part I have stopped dreaming. Honestly the nights that I have dreamed since then have been few and far between. But what we are taught about dreams is that if you see a Cross, Church or a Priest the dream is from God. My friend if I did not know any better God is calling you. Finally what I would recommend is that you might want to talk to someone. My Priest here in New York converted to Orthodoxy from Catholicism and my Priest in Houston was studying to become a Catholic Priest when he converted to Orthodoxy. That Priest now hails from Seattle. Feel free Freep mail me if you have any questions. Good luck to you.