It was a mobile of twelve lords a-leaping. They were leaping all right. The ornament consisted of tiny clay male figurines. Each was naked and had a large erection.
Some of the ornaments were silly and some were dangerous, like the crack pipes hung on a string. . . .Some ornaments were constructed out of various drug paraphernalia, like syringes, heroin spoons, or roach clips, which are colorful devices sometimes adorned with bird feathers, and used to hold marijuana joints.
No, I didn't, but he was happy to explain it to me: the golden rings I was holding were sex toys known as "c-ck rings"--and they had nothing to do with chickens.
Here was another five golden rings ornament--five gold-wraped condoms.
Hillary's social secretary, Ann Stock, came down, carefully looked at the tree and its decorations and pronounced it "perfect" and "delightful."