Osama In Coma, Near Death

John Batchelor, WABC Radio - NYC ^ | February 15, 2003 | TommyDale

[TommyDale]

Just before midnight last night, John Batchelor, on location in Kazahkistan, reported that Osama Bin Laden is under heavy guard in a cave in Western Pakistan. He is yellow in color, from failing kidneys, and slips in and out of a coma. The required kidney dialysis has failed to help him.

Apparently, when he comes out of a coma for a brief period, they will record his voice. Of course, if he dies soon, he will be denied his wish for martyrdom. It was stated that some see this as a punishment from God.

[dennisw]

Sure hope it's true! I rate this at 50% probability which is pretty high for my rumor mill. Where's Debka on this? Off for Shabat?

[monocle]

Suffer, baby, suffer.

[faithincowboys]

I'm not buying this. I think the dude is dead. fake tape!!!

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

Well, the fact that the last two tapes have only been audio definately raised my eyebrows as to the health of bin laden. May he burn in hell.

[rewrite]

Neither is liver failure-discomfort,yes. Pain?No. I speak with a little experience in this . My liver had to be replaced Jan.6,2002.

[2nd Amendment]

Is Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa with him?

[Freedom2specul8]

Whoa...that's a pretty UGLY scene. :-p

[MHT]

Isn't this the same reporter from ABC who got in trouble earlier last year with a contrived news story?

[TommyDale]

How do we know that this is not from U.S. intelligence? We hear what they want us to hear.

[hotpotato]

This is funny :-)

Somewhere on FR I saw an animated gif where a guy walks up to a large photo of bin laden's face and takes a piss on it. Yellow is everywhere. Where is that pissin' gif?!

[areafiftyone]

Believe me if he has the disease that they say he has - he IS Suffering!! But I wish this was on the mainstream news. It's too good not to be!

[woofie]

How do we know this is not from the National Enquirer?

My guess is he has been dead a while and the AlQaeda needs to admit it

[rs79bm]

Good story. This probably belongs in the heaps of false stories on Bin Laden. Good journalists that "know Bin Laden's whereabouts" are a dime a dozen. It's called recognition and fame my friends! Journalists no longer report the news, they make it in hopes of becoming famous and recognized. Look at any TV journalist. It's little more than making up and fabricating stories to entertain the audience.

[auggy]

"Normally you don't turn yellow with end stage kidney disease. You turn yellow with end stage liver disease, ie Jaundice."

Maybe he was born yellow? Methinks.

[hotpotato]

I've been listening to MSNBC and FOX all morning and have not heard this reported. What's up with that? Also, is anyone else having a problem loading this thread? My browser is getting stuck on Post #75 and I have to hit the stop-loading button.

[OldFriend]

John Batchelor and Paul Alexander are the new late night Art Bells. Full of wild speculation and downright out of their minds on occasion.

[dljordan]

But he did find 72 Virginians and they kicked his a**.

[GreenHornet]

Maybe Sean Penn, Susan Saradon, or Mike Farrell could go over there, and donate one of their kidneys to keep Osama going.

[LS]

It's 72 VIRGILS and are they going to be surprised when they recreate that scene out of "Deliverance."

[Barnacle]

All it said was 70 virgins. - Nothing about the specie.

Oh! Look girls, he’s here! Oink.. oink

Have fun in eternity Osama.