Osama In Coma, Near Death

John Batchelor, WABC Radio - NYC ^ | February 15, 2003 | TommyDale

[TommyDale]

Just before midnight last night, John Batchelor, on location in Kazahkistan, reported that Osama Bin Laden is under heavy guard in a cave in Western Pakistan. He is yellow in color, from failing kidneys, and slips in and out of a coma. The required kidney dialysis has failed to help him.

Apparently, when he comes out of a coma for a brief period, they will record his voice. Of course, if he dies soon, he will be denied his wish for martyrdom. It was stated that some see this as a punishment from God.

[TBP]

I always knew Osama was yellow!

If martyrdom is such a great thing, why is Osama always trying to get others to do it while he is unwilling to do it himself?

BOMB THAT CAVE!!!

[Tennessean4Bush]

This is a joke, right?

[GOPJ]

Better that he be in a coma than moving toward Miami with a new face.

May he die the death of every person he has directly or indirectly killed. For eternity.

He is yellow in color, from failing kidneys, and slips in and out of a coma.

[CanisLupus]

I hope he get a.. cancer b4 he checks out

[Diana Rose]

Inshallah /snicker

[STD]

Renal failure is not painful. It's like falling asleep. It's the kidney's that are kapput. I'm using a German euthanism for the last time.

[evad]

Normally you don't turn yellow with end stage kidney disease. You turn yellow with end stage liver disease, ie Jaundice.

Sounds like multiple organ failure..
eeeeexcellent

[NeoCaveman]

I know - IT'S SERIOUS
(With apologies to The Smiths)

The Smiths song was the first thing I thought of too. That fact disturbs me :^)

[TBP]

Of course the Democrats want to invade Pakistan. There is no national interest in it, so they're for it. Besides, Pakistan is an ally, so they must be punished.

Besides, a LOT of Dimmycrap pols get BIG $$$$$ from India, as the liberal Baltimore Sun reported a few yers back. Search on the name "Lalit Gadhia." He was funnelling Indoian Embassy money to Democrat politicians. The Sun reprinted the Airborne Express delivery label conclusively linking him to the Embassy.

[Turbodog]

It was stated that some see this as a punishment from God.

[Diana Rose]

I have an American bottle of champagne chilling for when the old porker checks out.

[cake_crumb]

Binny sighting are more common than Elvis sightings ever were...could this signal the end of the seemingly neverending Binny sightings? Will Binny now STAY DEAD??

[TommyDale]

WABC Radio (770 AM) can be picked up in 38 states. In addition, stations carry their weekend show such as Charlotte (1110 AM).

[not-an-ostrich]

Who has this weekend's dates on death of bin Laden pool?

[Chad Fairbanks]

No, he'll get a job working at a Minnesota gas station with Elvis...

[LowOiL]

Sounds like multiple organ failure..

Yep..that is what happened to my grandpa when his kidneys failed. Coma then death.

[IncPen]

Al-Queda has determined that a martyred Big 'O' is now preferable to the post-mortem Osama they've been foisting on us with edited tapes.

Methinks it's the CIA putting out 'communications' from pig Laden to stir the chatter

[nutmeg]

WABC Radio (770 AM) can be picked up in 38 states.

Really? I wasn't aware of that! I live about 130 miles north of NYC, and WABC doesn't come in clearly at our house (we have a big 800 ft. rock ridge behind our house - that may have something to do with it). We can get WABC on our car radios, though. Actually, I do remember once being in Florida, and hearing WABC faintly one night on a car radio.