France To UN: Drop Dead

WSJ.com ^ | Feb.14, 2003 | JAMES TARANTO

[conservativecorner]

It appears increasingly likely that when an American-led coalition liberates Iraq, it will do so under the authority of 17 U.N. Security Council resolutions rather than 18. As a matter of international law, this will not matter, but as a matter of international politics it could prove to be a very big deal. France may have destroyed the U.N. as a serious institution.

[AmericanInTokyo]

I can't STAND Fance for doing this. What a bunch of Bstards.

[shadowman99]

Bunch of ssholes.

[Centurion2000]

Hmmm .... think we could get Bush to add them to the Axis of Evil and get a declaration of War against France ?

That'd be kosher.

Of course we'd have to conquer and pacify Quebec as well.

[Fintan]

WHO NEEDS THE FRENCH?

 French Military History in a Nutshell Currently making the rounds in the military community:

The Complete Military History of France

 - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

- Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other
 participants started ignoring her.

- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War - Tied.

 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

 - World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

 - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Muslims and the Germans just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

 The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France
 collapses?"

 Final Conclusion: "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."


 

[Cincinatus]

Can the U.N. be saved? Is it worth saving? It appears now that, thanks to the French, both questions have been answered in the negative.

Enough with the France bashing! See this? They've done us all a great big FAVOR! Vive La France!

[ken5050]

What's new in Nippon..yesterday the Japanese defense ministry announced it would pursue neuclear weapons because of NK...I assume that today they've deployed them......BTW, are those Sony Robots really future soldiers.....?

[WSGilcrest]

France may have destroyed the U.N. as a serious institution

And that's a bad thing?

[colorado tanker]

Well, good riddence to all that. With the U.N. buried as irrelevant, we won't have to go through this brain damage again. In a way, we should thank the French.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Makes me want to go out and by a Renault. What a fine display of French No-how.

[kesg]

In effect, President Bush posed two questions to the world last year: Can the U.N. be saved? Is it worth saving? It appears now that, thanks to the French, both questions have been answered in the negative. It is a clarifying moment.

Hmm...if he's right here, maybe there are at least two reasons to thank the French. :)

[smith288]

« Click

[Paleo Conservative]

France may have destroyed the U.N. as a serious institution.

Surely he can't be serious. Since when have either France or the U.N. ever been serious?

[vrwinger]

Clearly, when American GI's do get to Baghdad, and they do uncover the Iraqi WMD's hidden there, and they do reveal France's role in obtaining them, the French will be in deep merd, so to speak. Why else are they acting this way?

[Conspiracy Guy]

I love this picture, looks like a neighbor of mine. I live in a new garden home community. His yard looks like a trailer park. I call him Wash even though that's not his name.

[AD from SpringBay]

If the end result of the French position on Iraq is that the United Nations loses whatever facade of legitimacy it once had, then maybe we owe the French a little more gratitude. Since the democrats would never allow the US out of the UN, maybe the only way out is for the French to show the American population just how flimsy the UN really is.

[conservativecorner]

France To The UN: Drop Dead


Sorry about the mis-spelling gang!

[xJones]

In a way, we should thank the French.

Yes, let's rustle their truffles. That will get them where it counts.

[Billthedrill]

I note with some pleasure that Bush has tossed the problem of North Korea into the UN arena. No doubt the French will show us the proper way to deal with that one in that venue. They'll be in luck: surrender is still an open option.

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

See this for a different take on things:

Mark Steyn: It's not really about Saddam