My Niece is Scheduled to Have an Abortion Today

Skooz | 1.30.2003 | Skooz

[Zack Nguyen]

What a wonderful story. God is good.

[wardaddy]

Good Lord!

One of my worst nightmares.

I am not sure I could contain myself should one of my daughters find herself in that situation and try to defy my well known views on infanticide.

If someone ...particularly family is there to take this poor baby then the mother's selfishness is beyond the usual pale that abortion signifies which is already bad enough.

I'm so sorry for your family.

[bootless]

Oh my, my, my... I am so sorry to hear this. I will be praying for her, and for her not to rush into this decision simply on this boy's demands. That alone tells me about his character. She can do better, and I pray that she do the right thing for this baby.

I don't know his parents, but I'm thinking that they don't want to be financially responsible for this baby for 18 years...

[Skooz]

I cannot being to thank all of you for your kind words and suggestions. Also, your emails have been wonderful, but so numeraous that I cannot answer them all individually. I hope this post will suffice.

I drove to my parent's house and Amanda was still sleeping. My parents were upset, so we talked for a long while. Soon after Amanda woke, the boy came over to take her to the abortion clinic. My mom got very emotional and pleaded with her to reconsider and not kill the baby. She began to cry and Amanda started yelling and things got quite emotional. My step-father recently suffered heart failure so he just went in the backyard to avoid it all. His heart has been through more than enough the past few days and this kind of stress could literally kill him.

My sister called and started crying over the phone. My mom got too emotional and handed the phone to me. Through my sister's sobs I heard her say that the baby is due September 6 -- one year to the day when my father died. She sees that as some sort of sign and it just served to make her more upset.

Amanda and the boy went to her room, with my mom standing outside her door almost begging her not to kill her baby. I went in the room, closed the door, and tried to calm Amanda down. I asked her to relax a minute and to listen. Amazed at my calm, I offered to take her to the Crisis Pregnancy Center for another opinion. She refused. I told her that she would regret an abortion for the rest of her life. I told her how her aunt (my wife) is still haunted by the abortion she had 15-16 years ago. Amanda's response was that she would regret having a baby, too. When I brought up the option of adoption, she dismissed it, saying she would rather have an abortion than give her baby away. She wanted to have and keep the baby, but since that option had been ruled out by the boy's parents, she would rather have the abortion. I said everything I could say. I told her many of the things offered on your posts,. But, her mind was made up. Keeping the boy was more important than allowing her baby to live.

My mom pulled up a picture of an 8 week old fetus and forced them both to look at it, but they were unmoved. She grew almost hysterical, begging her not to kill the baby; telling her that abortion is murder, and that those who commit abortions are murderers.

When it was time to go, they walked out the door, got in his car and left.

As they were leaving, I prayed that something would go wrong-- a flat tire, power failure, a change of heart, the Apocolypse -- anything. I stayed at my parent's house for about another hour and came home.

I fervently hope she did not go through with it.

[Stone Mountain]

Remind the girl's parents that abortion could leave her unable to have kids later. Or dead.

So could giving birth to a child. There are lots of good reasons not to have an abortion, but I don't believe this is one of them...

[wardaddy]

I concur.

[AnAmericanMother]

Oh dear, oh dear.

It doesn't sound good. I know your family is all torn up about this. But, ultimately, it is her decision. You all did what you could to dissuade her, but free will means we are all free to choose wrong.

All we can do at this point is pray, for her and for her little baby. God bless and comfort you.

[ewing]

You did what God would have wanted you to do, and did everything in your power.. it's in the Lords hands now.

[wardaddy]

Damn. I'm suprised a young girl would so openly defy the wishes of her guardians (your parents)....I'm a little confused.

She has a number of folks offering to help her or adopt the child and she still goes through with this in the face of all of that.

I fear she has serious issues which compliment this callousness.

The boy and his amoral folks...not much to say there. He's dumped her already and she doesn't even know it yet.

I'm so sorry. Your pleas for some sanity from her are laudable and I truly feel for all of you.

damn ...what a shi$$y world we live in at times. A girl kills a baby simply for some teenaged dilletante love affair and rebukes her family's wishes in the process....incredible.

Infanticide is a scourge that is going to be hell to pay for us all one day.

G-d bless you.

[bootless]

I couldn't have said it any better. Skooz, you did all you could do, and it sounds like you did it well. You *know* where that calm came from - you were blessed.

I fervently hope she doesn't/didn't go through with it. My prayers will be with you, Amanda, and her baby.

[gopwhit]

Sorry about all this....I'm still praying for you....but want to wade in one more time. Over the course of this thread a few Freepers have given up the fact that they've had abortions. We forgive them, they forgive themselves, and in many instances it sounds like all have gone on to have a deeper understanding of the meaning of life because of the experience they had.

If this girl comes home from this horrible day to people calling her "murderer" then what kind of family are you? Family forgives. Family loves. Period. In addition to the world losing out on a wonderful soul today, someone you love and too young to know better lost her way. She needs your love (tough love) and compassion now that her decision is final. In her mind she is not a murderer today. You are all right...she will regret this...but now her life is at stake too. This kind of experience can lead to all kinds of problems....most with unhappy endings.

[Xenalyte]

Oh, Skooz, my prayers are with you. May God hold your family in this wrenching time.

[Skooz]

If this girl comes home from this horrible day to people calling her "murderer" then what kind of family are you?

That won't happen. That isn't how we do things in my family. She will be as loved and accepted as ever. She has always been, and will always remain, the apple of my parent's eyes.

[gopwhit]

Oh that's good....you know at least she is not going through it all alone. Your family knows, and the boy knows, so she will have to work through it...that's not always the case! I called my sister and was reading her some of this thread and she was like "wow I thought my day was going rough..."

[Blood of Tyrants]

When I brought up the option of adoption, she dismissed it, saying she would rather have an abortion than give her baby away.

How horribly selfish people can be to choose the death of another over their own discomfort. IMO, if you treat her exactly as before and she shows no remorse, you are condoning the murder.

[don-o]

She is ready to have her baby killed to make her boyfriend's parents happy.

I really don't know what else to say. God help us.

Were I confronted by this in my family, I would be on the road, or in the air to wherever.

If possible, I would physically restrain a neice who was about to murder her child.

[madprof98]

Exactly right. People can and do change their minds/hearts (I know I've changed at least my mind on this issue), but they don't do it when they're led to believe any and every behavior on their part will be subsidized by their doting parents. It's like "self-esteem." Studies consistently show that black teenage girls have more of it than anybody else. Yet their behavior in many areas--including sexual acting-out and abortion--is both destructive and self-destructive.

[don-o]

Oh well, I'll leave you to your devices. Hope everything works out for the girl - she needs comfort and compassion regardless of what she decides.

CP forgot a Clymer alert.

Take yor dribble to another thread. Folks are trying to help here

[Under the Radar]

I don't understand why you are more angry at the boy's parents than you are at your niece. She is the one who will make the ultimate decision; no one is forcing her. Her supposed "love" for the 16 year-old will last as long as her infatuation with the guy on "Joe Millionaire" does. She is an adult woman, a mother, acting like a child. She will live with this sin for the rest of her life. And no, she will not have the cop-out of blaming the boy's parents. This is her decision alone.