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Language of choice: As US changes, many trying to learn Spanish
The Boston Globe ^ | 1/27/2003 | Cindy Rodriquez

Posted on 01/27/2003 8:09:57 AM PST by Prolixus

Edited on 04/13/2004 2:09:01 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]

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To: Prolixus
OPINION

I Bet I Can Speak Spanish
Op Ed Photo

Hello, amigos! ¡El soy quando agunto! ¡Ella balloona balunga espanyo!

Did that sound Spanish to you? I bet that means something. And guess what? I've never had one lesson! It's just that I have a natural gift for Spanish. I was able to pick it up all by myself, "outside the system," if you will.

When I was a kid, I thought a foreign language would take a long time to learn. That's what society tells you, probably because of the anti-foreign attitude in America. They're trying to discourage people from going foreign, I guess.

Go to any bookstore. They have books for learning how to speak Spanish, books made up entirely of Spanish words, dictionaries for figuring out what something means in Spanish. Can you believe people need books to learn Spanish? It sure came easy to me!

In high school, Spanish was taught by Mr. Gomez, and you could spend years learning every single word. Forget that! I'm sure I've got the gist of it. I don't need any classes or books, because I can speak Spanish without all that. I mean, ¡Balunga el baguayo con blinko! Don't tell me that didn't sound Spanish! And it sure didn't take three years of high school to learn. Forget that—I've got a life!

I could see Chinese taking a long time to learn. I mean, look at it! But Spanish is pretty normal by comparison, with all those American letters and stuff. I've heard people speaking Spanish, and they're not doing anything I can't do. They're just talking! Ever watch Sesame Street? They have little kids speaking Spanish on there! Are we supposed to believe these little kids graduated from high school already? Even Alejandro, this guy I work with at the Cinnabon at the mall, speaks Spanish, and he's dumb as a stump! He's barely got English down, let alone a foreign language! I rest my case. ¡Alabunto quénto galoodi!

Also, I live near Taco Bell. In case you don't live here in Monroe, Taco Bell is this really good Spanish restaurant they have next to Video Hut. It's so good, in fact, they opened another one at the mall. They only sell Spanish food there, so every time you go in and give your order, you're speaking Spanish! And since nobody goes to Taco Bell more than I do, that's another reason I can speak Spanish so well! ¡Ellaquanto burritõs! ¡Grandé baloobos! ¡El hoolio!

But another reason I can speak Spanish is that I've been watching tons of Univision lately. Just yesterday, there was this soap opera on, called Ellabungo Juanita or something like that, and I was completely following it! This girl and guy were in bed together, and this other guy came in and was all mad. Just from listening, I could tell that the girl in bed was cheating on the guy who'd just walked in. There were no subtitles, I just figured it out! You folks reading this might have needed Spanish lessons to understand what was going on, but I'm on the fast track, Charlie!

Spanish girls are really hot, which is another important use for Spanish. The girl in the apartment across the hall from me has dark hair and a dark complexion. I bet she's probably Spanish. One of these days, when I get a tuxedo and grow a little black mustache, I'm going to go over there with some flowers. Then, when she opens the door, oh, boy, that's when I'll turn on the Spanish! "¡Allabunto allaquento, senorita!" As for what will happen next, well, I'll just leave that to your imagination. The girls all think Ricky Martin is so sexy, but that's just because he speaks Spanish. When Ricky gets a load of me, he's going to go running back to Spain!

So, until next time, my fellow Spanishers, "¡Ellaquanto paganyo balagoonda!"

41 posted on 01/27/2003 1:13:53 PM PST by jiggyboy
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To: jiggyboy
from The Onion, of course -- I couldn't perform the surgery to get the copyright in there
42 posted on 01/27/2003 1:15:17 PM PST by jiggyboy
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To: blackdog
Reminds me of "The Bumblebee Guy" on the Simpsons:

"He He. El Yo-Yo est grande!"
43 posted on 01/27/2003 1:16:47 PM PST by WaveThatFlag
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To: WaveThatFlag
I learned Spanish just so that I could talk to real-life women, like the ones you see on Telemundo. And I must say, it has paid off........
44 posted on 01/27/2003 2:10:42 PM PST by missileboy
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To: WaveThatFlag
The point is that Italian is the most romantic sounding toungue

The most romantic sounding tongue is the one that the hot girl in the miniskirt on Univision is speaking.

Why do you think I became fluent in Spanish?

porque la Sofia Vergara esta buena.......

45 posted on 01/27/2003 2:19:31 PM PST by missileboy
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To: missileboy; WaveThatFlag; Clemenza; PARodrig
The point is that Italian is the most romantic sounding toungue

BS, the most romantic sound to a woman is the sound of a ca$h regi$ter.

It's the same in any language $money$ Talks, bullshit walks.

Incidentally, I speak both Spanish and Italian, cash trumps both.

Why do you think all the mojados come to America? Because they like the food?

46 posted on 01/27/2003 4:44:05 PM PST by Cacique (An armed people, are a FREE people!! Castrate fags, perverts and pedophiles. We need more sopranos.)
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To: Cacique
LOL. When I was in Caracas, one of the things that was considered standard best practice was to walk up to any woman, bring her up to the bar and tell her, "Pide lo que quieras". It apparently never failed, though regrettably I never tried.
47 posted on 01/27/2003 4:58:35 PM PST by missileboy
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To: Cacique
BTW, your screen name doesn't happen to come from that fine Venezuelan rum, does it?
48 posted on 01/27/2003 4:59:26 PM PST by missileboy
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To: Cacique
"This is a recipe for civil wars and ethnic conflicts in 100 years."

A lot sooner than that, sir. I am brushing up on my Spanish...it's always good to understand the language of your enemy. I don't look forward to learning Chinese, though.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

49 posted on 01/27/2003 5:54:13 PM PST by wku man
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To: blackdog
My Brad Pitt Spanish is pretty good though....."How farro to the closest towno", "No dinero, but el rido in your el trucko?"

LOL! Thats pretty good.

50 posted on 01/28/2003 12:06:22 PM PST by KC_Conspirator
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