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An Open Letter to Osama Bin Laden

Dear Idiot:

I read about your letter in the Observer. I have to ask, what is it that you have between your ears, camel excrement?

Your lads have done nothing but succeed in angering America with the World Trade Centre attack, angering Australia with the Bali attack, angering Israel with repeated provocations, and now you're angering Britain. What is your problem, is kidney disease not dispatching you to Hell quickly enough? Do just hate your friends and want them to end up carved up like a Christmas goose by the SAS and Gurkhas?

If you are serious and you are hoping to threaten and cow us into bending to your goat buggering excuse for a religion, I have to say now, you are doomed to fail. If you had read your history other than that useful emergency toilet paper substitute, the Koran, you would realise that threatening the British has precisely the opposite effect of cowing us. Ask the French knights that were slain at Agincourt. Ask Napoleon. Ask Hitler. Oh sorry, you can't ask them - just like you will be shortly, they are dead.

We are coming for you, pig shite. The SAS are creeping like shadows across the desert. Delta Force is sharpening their knives. The Australian SAS is ready to hang you from the nearest coolabah tree and go Waltzing Matilda. The Gurkhas want to collect your henchmen's heads to put over the mantlepiece back at HQ. Hopefully one of these groups will find you, tear out that charcoal briquette you call a heart, tear off your worm-riddled head and use the stump of your neck as a urinal while singing patriotic anthems.

And when you are dead, the world will be a better place. And when your rancid excuse of a faith is defeated, the mosques blown up, every last practitioner of clitorectomies shot in the head, and every last burqua burned, humanity will have achieved another victory for freedom.

Till then, quake in fear. Death and hell are coming.

Yours sincerely,

Mad Ivan
London, England

And when your rancid excuse of a faith is defeated, the mosques blown up, every last practitioner of clitorectomies shot in the head, and every last burqua burned, humanity will have achieved another victory for freedom

Till then, quake in fear. Death and hell are coming. .

So, Osama has thrown down the gauntlet, eh? Well here it comes pig boy, Islam, if it survives, will never forget the doom and destruction that you, and the radical Wahabi followers have brought upon it.

What do you think is gonna happen when the whole friggin' world decides to go after you, members of the faith, the mosques, your weak and vulnerable economies?

Nice post, Ivan. Why are you going so soft on him, though?

Just so he gets the point, I'll add an American perspective on the future - call it the ghost of Christmas Future for OBL:

Osama:

Should your cultists manage to pull of another attack - rumored to be more spectacular than 9/11 - you will have managed to singlehandedly destroy the religion that you claim to hold so dear. (More on that in a minute.)

We all know that your "cause" has nothing to do with religion, or anything to do with the "suffering" of the Islamic people. It only has to do with one thing: Osama's ego and desire for power.

That makes you less of a human than even Bill Clinton - who most of us find to be the most disgusting bag of sh!t to ever call himself a human. In your case, however, having killed or ordered the killing of scores of innocent people just to quench your thirst for something as intangible as what you think of as power is beyond vile. You are nothing more than an impetulant child - a rich kid who didn't get all of his toys and now the world must pay. It's not our fault you're as ugly as you are stupid. How many must die due to your tantrums?

I'll tell you how many. First of all, should you in fact kill any more of us in your power quest, we will drop our current policy of direct engagement of your forces. The American public will merely begin the summary execution of all Muslims within our borders, and as many as we can get to in Canada and Mexico. As you know, our military is stationed in over 100 nations of the globe, and they will begin enforcing a "scorched earth" method of combat. Throughout the middle east, Asia, central and south America, and of course Africa, our troops will kill every single Muslim that they encounter - every man, woman, and child. There will be contests and awards given for body counts. We will completely depopulate these areas without using a single nuclear weapon. Your people will make excellent track grease for our tanks. We will be joined by the Russians, India, and probably even China once that they see that they cannot count on you to do their dirty work for them.

Yes, even China - your paymaster/puppetmaster - will turn on you like the rabid dogs you have become. If they don't, then the US and Russia will see that they are indeed behind all of your crap and it will be over for them as well.

So far, we're over 2 billion and counting. There aren't enough "virgins" for all of those martyrs, camelhumper. And most of them will be searching you out in Hell to get some revenge for sending them on a fool's errand.

Enjoy your eternity in Hell - it should be interesting for you indeed.

C'mon Ivan, why don't you tell him how you REALLY feel?

Nam Vet

And when your rancid excuse of a faith is defeated, the mosques blown up, every last practitioner of clitorectomies shot in the head, and every last burqua burned, humanity will have achieved another victory for freedom.

Bump.

God Bless You MadIvan!

Dearest Ivan...
WON'T YOU PLEASE CONSIDER MOVING HERE??? WE NEED YOU!!!
Great posts, and God Bless you... Yes, bomb the living hell out of them, their mosques, and be done with it! End these animals reign of terror, and wipe them off the face of the earth!
Regards Ivan, and Happy Thanksgiving!
Terri

Re: #18: Allah aakkkk barf.

Bump.

Go IVAN!!!