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A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the
zoo.

The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior
was taking it all in with a serious expression.

Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up
..."

"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.

"What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of
helicopters in it.

2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from
her at that moment.

3. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

4. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

5. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

6. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be "meetings."

7. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy
people who are not in them.

8. You should not confuse your career with your life.

9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not
a nice person.

10. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.