Posted on 09/23/2002 4:26:24 PM PDT by comwatch
We're just six days and counting to the Sawgrass Rebellion Convoy merging from all points north, south and west before they head east and rally in Sacramento. Events of the last few days suggest a little humor may be in order. But read between the lines and ask... how have we lost so much ground, and why have we allowed government to trash our Constitution and the Bill of Rights therein. What meaning should be attributed to: "No person shall be...deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation." ---Article 5, The Bill of Rights
It is the year 2002 and Noah lives in Sacramento, California. |
"Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."
Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping.
"Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"
"Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes.
I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.
Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. The City Council tried to revoke the variance when the neighbor told them I listen to Armstrong and Getty on AM Talk Radio while working the shop.
The mayor called me a conservative middle aged white boy out to make a buck without paying under the table. I was saved only by converting part of the Ark to Section 8 low income rental accommodations. But they don't come two by two... more like 12 by 12.
I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls.
However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls. The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls.
When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.
Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!
The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a recreational water craft."
Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event, therefore unconstitutional.
I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully.
You mean you are not going to destroy the earth,
Lord?" "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."
AMEN!
Please help us keep the momentum building in support of the American Farmer, Rancher and everyday property owner. Join the discussion at this Freeper Thread: Grange A Major Player In The Sawgrass Rebellion
. . .an Amen bump. . .
From the north, get to I-205 and take the second Grantline turnoff. Turn left onto Grantline and then the very next signal is Naglee Road. Go right on Naglee and the next signal is the Park and Ride on your right.
We really need to see everyone there and get a good turnout. FFA is selling hot dogs for their own fundraiser. If we don't take our property rights back, there will not be any 'F' for future or 'F' for farmers in FFA. Probably no "A" either! For any of us!
We need to get lots of local people there. I believe the Delta is slated as another major restoration project similar to the Everglades. We were both swamps turned into productive farmland. Now the same major players want to return us to a swampland like the Everglades project. Anyone out there hear of West Nile Virus or malaria or various strains of encephalitis or any of the other more exotic fevers? The Audubon has reassured us that mainly it is the very old, very young or infirm that die so not to worry. Is this another kind of cleansing? Sounds like the Audubon could work for an HMO! I apologize for the sarcasm ahead of time--I'm sleepy and silly.
Abraham Lincoln
I wish I could make it. I'll be with you all in spirit.
They serve as an explanation for why you posted.
Bump signifies your intent to place the story at the top of the current posts list. Any reply will accomplish this but sometimes we have nothing to say but feel the story deserves more read time on the board.
BTTT is the same thing. It stands for "bump to the top".
ping is used when your intent is to call the thread to the attention of someone. When you reply on the thread, you remove the name that comes up in the "To" box and type the name of the freeper you wish to call to the thread. The thread will now show up in their self search function.
There is a thread for freeper speak but I don't have the link to it.
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