[Valin]

If "The Onion" is right, Atta and his evil troupe are in Hell right now. But the really funny thing is their Hell might also be his Heaven. A German scholar made a fairly startling discovery this year. It turns out the 72 virgins these guys expect upon arrival in Paradise might not be virgins at all. Oh, I don't mean that they might have played the field in college (or burka-knitting school) or anything like that. I mean, they might be raisins. It turns out that the passage which so many of these psychopaths considered their eternal nookie ticket was mistranslated over the centuries.

Because of a grammatical glitch, it's quite possible that the Koranic passage which promises that salvation is an eternal Fleet Week for young men who massacre innocents more likely promises that you get a nice bowl of juicy white raisins when you go to Heaven. Not only is that great news for twitchy evil pervs like Atta because it means his tighty-whiteys will remain unsullied by female hands for all eternity, it opens huge new possibilities for "Fruit of the Loom" underwear. One can only imagine the reactions of these young men, all torqued-up from endless assurances that their afterlife will be one endless booty-call, only to be greeted with a great big bowl of white raisins.



Don't you hate when that happens.

[CyberCowboy777]

Of course, I should be careful, the German scholar who made this discovery has to use a pseudonym because he's legitimately worried that he will be murdered by people who insist Islam means peace.

What a sad reality