‘I WAS TOLD TO DOPE MY KID'

New York Post ^ | 8/07/02 | DOUGLAS MONTERO

[Corin Stormhands]

Wow. Your son sounds just like me, except I was in school in the 70's before all of this medication stuff started.

When we went through all of this with my son, I realized how many of the same "symptoms" I had. I talked it over with the Dr. who said we could treat it, or if I was comfortable with how I'd learned to deal with it, then I could just live with it. (which is essentially how we're now dealing with things for our son) There are days I wonder if that's the right thing. But in my 40s I don't want to start any drugs I don't have to. I'm also learning more about nutrition as I deal with my own weight problems and with arthritis. The wife and I are looking closely at all of those things at home also.

[Maigrey]

Hate to tell you this, but this has been going on for the last 20 years.
Only now is it becoming noticable where people are trying to do something about it.

I am a product of the public school system, but even then, it was wrote and regurgitation. I wasn't taught to think independently until HS.
Those years of school (even in a high-achieving school), were boring.
College was the same way until my last 2 years of it.

In another forty years look for public schools to be full of glassy-eyed automata maundering through their ABC's year after year until they graduate.
Fourty? Try 10-15.
I weep for the education of public school chhildren in the future.

-Maigrey-

[Eva]

I had a friend whose son tested on the genius level, but had the attention span of a three year old. The older he got, the more out of control his behavior became. He would become so angry in class that he would just get up out of his seat, following an argument with the teacher, and go home. The school tried to force his mother to have him medicated. Tested him to try to qualify him for special ed., to no avail. So, they put him in the gifted class, thinking that maybe he just wasn't challenged enough. All hell broke loose.

Anyway, the kid ended up in jail.

[alisasny]

Escuse me, however my son was a preemie (3lbs) and has immaturity issues which lead him to be belligerent. Which the schools tried to pass off as ADHD which he does not have. He is currently in the lower 10 percentile in weight height and development which leads to this immaturity.

He is disciplined however his growth levels (milestones) are way behind which is being addressed as always.

I am glad the boys you know have never talked back or acted as if they knew everything, questioning everything ect.

Good for you.

[Red Jones]

we have a big problem with kids having symptoms like ADD, social anxiety and things like that. It is amazing how many young kids have this and how severe it can be. But in my opinion the schools should find alternative means of dealing with this real problem. Ritalin is said by medical professionals to be like cocaine, it is preparing kids en masse (especially boys) for cocaine addictions. Some people find it useful, but too many have very bad experiences with it.

[Tired of Taxes]

Good to hear that your son is doing well, Txbec. I would think daydreaming is a sign of creativity - and I'm saying that as a lifelong daydreamer myself. ;-) In fact, I read once that boys who later become criminals do so because they have an inability to daydream. I wish the experts would make up their minds and stop labeling our children.

[Tired of Taxes]

Remember COLUMBINE HIGH and the bad voices telling them what to do.

And one of them was on psychiatric drugs, too.

[TxBec]

Both my kids were preemies (the one they insisted needed Ritalin weighed 2 lbs 9 ounces.) My main reason for not putting him on Ritalin (before I learned all the other negatives) was that it can cause weight loss. My son is finally catching up with his height and weight, but when he was in 3rd grade the last thing he needed was to have his growth further stunted. He was perpetually the shortest and thinnest kid in his class. (His height and weight were proportionate, but he always looked about a grade or two younger than he really was until he hit middle school.)

[TxBec]

If he truly has ADD, it's hereditary. I'm a day-dreamer too :)

[alisasny]

Also, I question myself a lot on if the drugs given to him in 2nd and portions of third grade contributed to this attitude of his.

The medication effected him so severly that we had to medicate the side effects including giving him medicines to go to sleep otherwise he was up 20 hours a day. He gained a total of 2 lbs in 2nd grade. He barely ate. I was going to a specialist also, a nuerologist who only treats such learning disorders. (see link below) In 2nd grade due to sleep problems he missed 30 days of school, in 3rd he missed 28 days of school, in 4th with NO meds he missed 8 days and was actually sick those days, not tired.

He is a very well rounded kid yet I am left to wonder if the medications did more harm then any good and are leaving lasting effects. BTW, he has never been in trouble in school for misbehavior. If anything during those almost 2 years he was always tired.

http://dyslexiaonline.com/

[joesbucks]

Here's where I have a problem. The mother does not to appear to have sought the help of her own medical professional or mental health profession, but rather allowed someone(s) to keep prescribing the medications. Frankly, while the school and their suggested medical team may have culpability here, if the effects being described had lingered for as long as reported, then mom has been negligent.

The problem of children's behavior is one that needs very close scrutiny. I had a child who was diagnosed with ADD and the medication he was prescribed helped. But we, as parents, sought medical help and didn't rely on the school to suggest a proper course of action.

[alisasny]

See my post # 130.

We are not very concerned about his size as his dad, my hubby is a very healthy 5'6, with a 30 inch waist and 26 and a half inseam..: ))

This does my son good in dealing with his size!!

When he was in 3rd grade I started to let him walk home alone from the bus stop on our corner. Little did I know that all the moms on the block thought I was some wacko letting my kindergarden child walk home alone...LOL...I finally found this out last September when my daughter started at this school for Kindergarden with the same bus stop.

In 4th grade he made friends with another 4th grader so they started playing at the boys house after school. The mom asked her son why she was hanging out with a younger kid, turns out my son was older than him by 4 months.

I have so many stories like that I should keep them in a journal for when he gets older!!

[hoosierham]

Actually I LIKE to see her going after the companies because the companies make and push these drugs. Before Ritalin was sold did you hear of PHYSICIANS medicating children just for being children ?

[Iconoclast2]

Perhaps because you have an irrational prejudice against Libertarians. Any Libertarian could tell you that the "schools and the courts forcing the mother" is antithetical to their core principles.

[azhenfud]

It seems to be the blanket response to misbehavior that a child's best interests are better served to "medicate" them.

It was easy for my friend to assess the problem and seek an alternate, more fitting solution for his son. But, statistically, I wonder how many are failed by not getting the proper attention necessary - from teachers and parents, and I wonder if we aren't wrongly teaching kids that problem solving is best handled from a bottle.

Parents should NOT EVER unquestionably take the word of an educator or doctor as infallable - especially when dealing with their kids and any drug...

Regards,
Az

[TxBec]

Sounds a lot like my kid. My favorite story is from when he was in the NICU, just before he was discharged. His alarm sounded and all the nurses came running in a panic. They got to his warmer and found him lying there with his leads in his hands, which he had pulled off, and he was swinging them around with an "almost a smile on his face." He's been keeping me on my toes ever since : )

[mlocher]

Why do I get the notion that if a doctor had "prescribed" marijuana and the school and the courts forced the mother to keep administering it to her kid, that the outcry by some on FR would be against the parent for demonizing the wonderweed.

i give up why? relevant minds want to know...

[alisasny]

After reviewing the dictionary and the word belligerent, I take the word back in describing my son. He is not violent or hostile, more likely he has some argumentative issues with those he is close with, namely my spouse, myself and our daughter.He is much more friendly then belligerent if that is a good comparison. He likes to push the bar for just about anything, like bedtime, or more play time ect. His mission is to get what he wants even though he doesn't. Hopefully he will grow out of this stage and I suspect as I did in my first post that many children try similar with their immediate relatives. Sorry I did not clarify all this in my 1st post to which you responded. Frankly I find it pretty hard to sum up a child from an initial post that had few details.

He does not have serious problems nor does he have serious special needs. : )