I remember waiting for chow one morning at oh-dark-thirty. I was a rear road guard and was standing at parade rest in the back of the formation. Some of those little Texas flies were crawling on my face and into my eyes (dringing my tears, it was so dry). I noticed the TI was not looking at me (he was jawboning with some other TI's) so I reached up and swatted the flies off my face. Well, Sgt Green did see me. He ran to me screaming, "What the $%$## you doing boy?!" Coming to attention I told him, "Swating flies off my face, sir!" "Oh, flies?", he says, then proceeds to B-slap me across my face. At that moment I saw stars and was knocked to the ground. I did manage to jump back up to the position of attention. He then said, "Did I get him"? I said, "Yes, Sir!" He then said, "Get your cover on!" I graped my fatigue cap and squared it away and came back to attention in an instant. He then said, "Don't EVER let me see you movin' your %%$% @#$ in formation again. I don't care if a buzzard is eatin' your liver. Understood?" I was, "Yes Sir!!" at the top of my lungs.
To this day I still wonder about two things from that morning. 1. How did he see me swatting flies when his back was to me, and 2. How could I ever have been such a numbnuts to swat at the stupid flies in the first place?
Funny thing, when I relate this story to new airmen or officers, they all look horrified and say, "You should have gone to the 1st Sgt and complained. They're not supposed to hit you!" Ha! Sgt Green did me a favor. Call it an act of love, even. I was wrong, I had disobeyed orders, and rather than write me up or screw me over, he took care of my problem immediately. Since that day, I NEVER had a problem standing at parade rest or attention, no matter how hot, dry, cold, or whatever.