Why There Are So Many Women in the Fathers' Movement

CNSNews.com ^ | June 21, 2002 | Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson

[discostu]

If Mom feels like this could happen,

Most people don't think their spouse is gonna screw 'em over. If they do usually they leave first.

Why would any woman have kids with this kind of guy?

Because she's stupid. Seen it more times than I'd care to admit. None of this has bearing on the root question.

If she does, it's her problem just as much as his. And, yes, he should still get custody of the son. But in this case, he wouldn't want the son anyway, so would probably be willing to give him up.

But now you have an exception. It's not all being handled the same way. That was your goal, universal divorce handling, no power for the courts.

If a parent has been convicted of a crime in a court of law, they would forfeit their rights to custody.

You can be a crackhead and not get convicted. But again, we're introducing exceptions here.

I did not say that either parent should be cut off from any kids, just that custody would be to one or the other.

You said more than that. You also included no visitation and no child support. That's a complete severing of the relationship in my book.

By doing this you would have the best chance in forcing both parents to behave like adults and share the kids. But there would be not time/money issues that could/would be used as bargaining chips and extortion leverage.

How could mandated single parent custody with no visitation or child suport result in sharing of the kid? Your outline is the exact opposite of sharing the kid.

In a divorce, this usually happens to everyone anyway. And this continues to happen even after the divorce. My solution would actually help put a limit on how much of this could continue happening. Like I said before, divorce should be cruel, harsh, cold, and businesslike. Maybe then people would think at least twice before making a marriage commitment and then pulling the plug a few years later.

Please. Spoken like someone seeking revenge. Divorces aren't all nasty, your system would force the occasional amicable divorce to be a war. That's stupid. If the couple can figure something out on their own then that's the plan that should be used. If the couple can't that's when the courts should step in and sort the mess out. That's what courts are actually supposed to be for, sorting out messes. At that point the courts have to take in the whole situation and react accordingly.

[discostu]

divorce should be cruel, harsh, cold, and businesslike

You also have to take into consideration just what is "business like". I've seen business relationships disolve so brutally they made the Woody Allen/ Mia Farrow split look positively polite. And I've seen divorces take just a couple of days to hammer out and everybody leaves happy and friends. There's a world of randomness in any dissolving of a relationship, an't be helped.

[Don Joe]

I told you to leave me alone, and you won't. "Very telling" indeed.

I don't know what your problem is, although I've got some suspicions. Regardless, I want no part of it, or you.

This is your final warning. You are NOT to post ANYTHING to me again.

[meyer]

Uh Oh!

[Lorianne]

Wrong! I post what I want on a public forum (within the guidelines). If someone posts to me I choose whether or not to reply. No one tells me when to reply to posts to me. No one.

However, if your truly don't want to engage me in discussion on this forum there is one simple way to achieve your goal: Don't post to me!

Thank you.

[DennisR]

"You said more than that. You also included no visitation and no child support. That's a complete severing of the relationship in my book."

That is a possibility. However, is it not generally true that divorced parents want their children to see the other parent? This would force the parents--without government and the courts externally mandating it--to act like adults. If they choose not to do that, it is not the end of the world. Besides, any attempt to make divorce reach some type of Utopian goal is ill-fated. To clarify, there would be no court-ordered visitation. Obviously, if the parent wants to have the child visit the other parent, there would be nothing preventing that. And I believe that would be the case in most situations.

"Please. Spoken like someone seeking revenge. Divorces aren't all nasty, your system would force the occasional amicable divorce to be a war. That's stupid. If the couple can figure something out on their own then that's the plan that should be used. If the couple can't that's when the courts should step in and sort the mess out. That's what courts are actually supposed to be for, sorting out messes. At that point the courts have to take in the whole situation and react accordingly."

In short, courts are oftentimes used to screw at least one of the parties. (Especially since there are so many liberal judges who use it to force their political/social/economic agendas down the throats of "the little peoople.") I know of too many cases that did exactly that.

I am not seeking revenge--I am just saying that all emotion and court-mandated arrangements should be absent if not eliminated altogether. Otherwise, you will generally end up with at least one party being very bitter about things because they got the raw end of the deal. Yes, there are (apparently) amicable divorces, but they are the exception rather than the rule. In fact, I know no one who has been involved in an amicable divorce.

[Don Joe]

"Wrong! I post what I want on a public forum (within the guidelines). If someone posts to me I choose whether or not to reply. No one tells me when to reply to posts to me. No one."

Well, no, dear, that's not exactly how it works here.

I'm invoking the same right that "rdb3" invoked in http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/649482/posts?page=125#125, and to quote his words at that time:

You and I have no need in discussing anything. Therefore, to keep it respectful and mature, please do not address me anymore. And I won't address you.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

I suggest you leave me alone.

[Don Joe]

A "history repeats itself" bump.

[foreverfree]

bump

[discostu]

that's a nice little hypothetical world you live in where people getting divorces don't react emotionally. Out here in the real world though things are different and making an already crappy situation worse isn't going to inspire good behavior. Every divorce is different and there aren't any cookie cutter solutions. Yes people misuse the court, not just when getting divorces but all the time, we need to make the court system self aware enough to punish that kind of abuse not construct a system where everyone that winds up in court takes it in the keister.

[Lorianne]

Please stop posting to me.
Thank you.

[Don Joe]

No problem. I already had, if you'd read my message.

I expect I've heard the last from you. You've certainly heard the last from me, unless you mouth off again.

I suggest you take my warning seriously.

Now go take on the day.

[Lorianne]

Please stop posting to me.
Thank you.

[Feiny]

Thanks for the laugh...I really needed it today. I am terribly sad because I have to put my dog to sleep in 2 days. I have taken care of him for 13 years and....now I am sad again.

[Don Joe]

WTF is wrong with you????

I stopped posting to you. I told YOU to stop posting to ME. I presume by now that you've gotten the tap on the shoulder by the management, but you still don't get the clue.

You are one strange cookie. Now LEAVE ME TF ALONE!

[Don Joe]

"Thanks for the laugh...I really needed it today. I am terribly sad because I have to put my dog to sleep in 2 days. I have taken care of him for 13 years and....now I am sad again."

I know how you feel. I know that sounds trite, so I'll explain. A week ago this past Monday, my very sick little cat went to the vet to try to remove a large tumor from her neck. They couldn't remove most of it, because her carotid artery went through it. They kept her overnight because she wasn't doing very well. They called the next day to say that she never came out of the anesthesia.

I cried myself to sleep for days. I still tear up when I think of her. She was a truer friend than most of the people I've known. I lost another very special kitty a few months ago, and the pain is cumulative.

A few years ago I had to put my dog to sleep. I'd had him for 14 years, since I found him abandoned in the woods as a tiny starved puppy. He was the smartest, most loyal, even-tempered dog I'd ever known. His kidneys went, and he bloated up with fluid that was seeping through microscopic pores. His skin quickly developed deep ulcers, some right down to the bone. It tore me up but there was nothing else that could be done for him. We tried all kinds of treatments, but he was an old dog, and very large, and they said large dogs don't live as long as smaller ones. The vet came out and I held him in my arms as he faded away.

Try to be strong for your pet. They are more human than most people. I believe we'll see them again some day.

[Lorianne]

Please stop posting to me
Thanks

[Don Joe]

Please stop posting to me
Thanks

[Stand Watch Listen]

bttt