[EnquiringMind]

Being a just-registered-today freeper does not alter the fact that this headline is coming soon to your local grocery store. The information may have nothing to do with the abduction, I agree, but does add a very disturbing dimension.

[GovernmentShrinker]

We'll know tomorrow -- either your description of the article is true, or "EnquiringMind" will magically be transformed into "No current freeper by that name".