Ten Tips on How to Be an Arafat Apologist

Ten Tips on How to Be an Arafat Apologist

FrontPageMagazine.com | April 11, 2002

WITH ALL OF THE EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE that has now confirmed, beyond any reasonable doubt, Arafat’s terrorist connections and duplicitous behavior vis-à-vis Israel, it has become impossible for Arafat’s apologists to make any legitimate excuses for their hero. I know a number of academics and writers that have become extremely depressed because of this situation. Having based their entire lives and professional careers on blaming Israel for any and every sparrow that fell from the sky, they have now lost the will to live. I feel sorry for these pathetic people.

I have decided to come forward to help the individuals who want to continue championing Yasser Arafat but simply don’t know how.

Seeing that I have dedicated most of my adult life to observing and dissecting the psychotic mindset that it takes to blame Israel for the conflict in Palestine, I know exactly what it takes to be an Arafat supporter. Even in these difficult times, I can teach an individual how to effectively defend Arafat and the Palestinian Authority –- even if the entire charade is filled with specious nonsense and lies.

I have created ten tips on how to be an Arafat apologist. They come with an easy to follow step-by-step guide. All you have to do is fertilize your personal dedication to anti-Semitism and then simply allow yourself to become as delusional as humanly possible.

The video infomercial for these tips should be coming out next month on television stations across the United States. Meanwhile, here is the basic outline for all those Jew-haters who have dedicated their lives to blaming Israel for every Arab terrorist act but thought that doing so was no longer possible:

Tip #1 – Imagine that the Palestinians are fighting for a homeland that was taken away from them by the evil Jews.

That’s right. The foundation to becoming and remaining a faithful pro-Arafat enthusiast is to intoxicate yourself with the belief that the Palestinians actually once owned a homeland that was, in turn, stolen by the greedy and parasitic Jews.

While trying to convince yourself of this fantasy, ignore the historical fact that the Palestine Mandate was never a nation, let alone even a political entity of any kind. It was a "mandate" that was created by the British from the remnants of the Turkish Empire after World War I. 10% of it was given to the Jews and 90% was given to the Palestinian Arabs.

The key here is that you should never worry about where 90% of Palestine actually is. Just obsess with the miniscule tiny bit of land that the Israelis "occupy" now. It’s not important that this land was never officially "owned" by anyone in the first place.

You should also never reflect on whether all of your rage and hatred on this issue is proportional to the fact that Israel consists of 1% of the land in the Middle East.

Just get really angry that Israel is on territory that you think should be given to the Palestinians. And because you think this, then it automatically makes it right and historically correct.

You should never wonder how your moral indignation on this issue fits with your complete indifference to the fact that Jordan occupies 80% of the land that made up the original Palestine Mandate. So if you really cared about the Palestinians, you would obviously be focusing your energy on protesting the crime being perpetrated by the Jordanians against the Palestinians. But the key here is that, well, deep down, you don’t really care about the Palestinians -– and neither should you. You must never admit this, but the Palestinians are only there for you to cynically exploit as pawns in your contributory effort to finish off what Adolph Hitler started.

That’s right. You know what I’m talking about. And even the Palestinians are in on this with you. I mean, think about it: if the Palestinians themselves really cared about getting a homeland, don’t you think that they would be screaming about -- and fighting for -- the land that Jordan occupies? Don’t you think it is somewhat curious that Jordan has never, even for a second, been the target of a Palestine liberation movement?

Don’t you think it is a little bit curious that, in 1948, the Palestinian Arabs rejected an international resolution that would have established a Palestinian state, and instead focused all of their energies on destroying the new Jewish state?

You’re starting to get the picture now, right?

So be a smart and clever Arafat apologist. The overall objective of your life should be facilitating the killing of Jews and destroying the state of Israel. The last thing you should be doing is worrying about the Palestinians. At the same time, however, in terms of what you actually say in public, you must always discuss the Middle East "problem" on the assumption that you are agonizing over the Palestinians’ plight and how their entire "homeland" somehow lies in tiny little Israel.

It is also a very good idea that you always refer to the myth of how the Jews "stole" the Palestinian "homeland" in passing, because then it makes its reality appear to be a given. You can’t believe how effective this ploy can be, especially in the midst of people who know nothing about Middle East history.

So believe in yourself and just do it!

Tip #2 – Never question the cause of Palestinian terror.

Every time that a Palestinian blows himself up along with innocent Jewish civilians, including babies in carriages, you should shake your head in despair and say things like, "That poor Palestinian. But he simply had no choice. The Israelis have pushed his people beyond their means."

You should always say things like this with a tone that implies that the "Israeli occupation" is the most oppressive reality in the world. Say things like, "The Israelis are doing to the Palestinians what the Nazis did to them." Follow this up with sentences like, "The Jews have obviously forced the Palestinians into terrorism."

When you mouth these slogans, make sure to have a serious and sincere look on your face, otherwise the asininity of what you are saying might become more easily discernable. Maintaining a sober facial expression can be made easier if you convince yourself that the wars of 1973 and 1967 are irrelevant to the subject at hand.

Before Israel was attacked in 1973, it occupied less of the land that is now in dispute, and before 1967, it occupied none of it. In other words, the Arab terror that was unleashed against Israel in 1967 had nothing to do with the Israeli "occupation" of the West Bank and Gaza Strip because the "occupation" did not exist.

From 1949-1967, Jordan had occupied the West Bank while Egypt controlled the Gaza Strip. But instead of the Arabs using terror against Egypt and Jordan to get them off of the Palestinians’ "land,", an Arab war of terror against Israel was launched in 1967. Israel won that war and grabbed both the West Bank and Gaza Strip as a security measure.

So why is it, you think, that Jordan’s annexation of the West Bank and Egypt’s annexation of the Gaza Strip from 1949-67 didn’t trigger any emotions in the Palestinians who lived in those territories? Why is it that not once, in all of those 18 years, was there even a sentence of indignation uttered by the Palestinians or by their "liberation" organization about the injustice done to the inhabitants of the West Bank and Gaza Strip? Why did other Arab states say nothing about it?

You know why. And this means that the terror against Israel has always been, and still is, caused by something other than Israelis being on any kind of "territory." I’ll give you six hints about what the real cause is connected to:

Hint #1: Hitler formulated the Final Solution because of it.

Hint #2: it has something to do with why Israel cannot be found on a map in Palestinian geography classes. It’s also connected to why Palestinian textbooks teach Palestinian children that Jews are evil thieves who have taken Arab land and who must therefore be killed. The textbooks also tell the kiddies that suicide bombing is what Allah loves most, since that noble and holy activity is the most effective way of murdering Jews and "liberating" Palestine.

Hint #3: it’s why the Palestinian Authority has published the Arabic translation of Mein Kampf, and why that tract has reached number six on its best-seller list.

Hint #4: It is connected to why, in 1960, when the Israelis captured Adolph Eichmann, the government-run Saudi Arabian newspaper ran a story headlined: "Arrest Of Eichmann, Who Had The Honor Of Killing Six Million Jews."

Hint #5: it has something to do with the great honor and respect that is bestowed in the Middle East upon anyone who succeeds in killing Jews. For instance, if you blow yourself up along with some innocent Jewish mothers and babies, your picture will be plastered on posters throughout your hometown. Your family will acquire a revered place in society and will also receive $25,000 in American currency from Saddam Hussein. You, meanwhile, will get to fulfill all of your wildest and repressed sexual fantasies with 72 virgins in heaven.

Hint #6: the whole matter is related to why Hashemi Rafsanjani, the eminent representative of "Iranian moderation," has boasted that once the Muslim world gets a hold of nuclear weapons, which he assures will be very soon, the Jewish "question" will be solved forever.

Now that you know what the real cause of Palestinian terror is, make sure to always deny it. Instead, consistently maintain to others that it is the result of Israelis being on "Palestinian territory."

Tip #3 – Ignore the words of Palestinians.

When you make your arguments for the Palestinian right to a homeland, always make sure to emphasize that the Palestinians acknowledge the right of Israel to exist. To make sure this works effectively, never mention, or ever even think about, what the Palestinians actually say themselves.

For instance, never talk about the Palestinian Covenant of 1968, because it embodies the philosophical principles of the Palestinians themselves and says things that would shatter the foundation to all of your arguments. For instance, Article 19 affirms that, "The partition of Palestine in 1947 and the establishment of Israel is fundamentally null and void, whatever time has elapsed, because it is contrary to the wish of the people of Palestine and its natural right to its homeland."

Article 15 states that, "The liberation of Palestine, from the Arab viewpoint, is a national duty to repulse the Zionist, Imperialist invasion from the great Arab homeland and to purge the Zionist presence from Palestine."

Also ignore Articles 20 and 22, because they reject even the historical and religious ties of Jews to the Holy Land itself. And that is precisely why Palestinian children are yet to find the state of Israel on any maps in their geography classes.

You also shouldn’t worry that Arafat has never repudiated the Articles in the Palestinian Covenant of 1968. This explains why, when speaking English to Western audiences, he always talks about how he acknowledges the right of Israel to exist. But when he speaks Arabic to Arab audiences, he does little else but boast about his successes in working toward the Palestinians’ most ambitious goal: to destroy the state of Israel. One only has to briefly listen to the Arab media, mosque sermons, and classroom and cafe conversations to gauge that this disposition represents a wide consensus in Arab society in general and in Palestinian society in particular.

Thus, when you are trying to persuade someone about the good intentions of Arafat and the Palestinian Authority, and how they accept the existence of Israel, never mention what the Palestinians themselves talk about. You should most definitely stay away from the subject of the 1968 Palestinian Covenant, because this could cause you problems. If someone else brings it up, change topics immediately.

Tip #4 – Imagine that Palestinians were, and are better off without Israel and the Israeli "occupation."

You should be constantly angry about the suffering of Palestinians and be convinced that it is the fault of Israel. Palestinian suffering should always be equated with Israeli responsibility. These two notions must be inseparable in your mind.

Palestinian suffering is definitely not the fault of Arafat or of all the Arab states – even though they have done everything in their power to make sure that the Palestinians do not receive a homeland.

That’s right. So try not to reflect too much on why the Palestinians of the West Bank are barred from becoming citizens in the Arab world. When the Gaza Strip was under Egyptian administration, for instance, the Palestinians there were denied Egyptian citizenship and thereby remained stateless. This is exactly why the Palestinians are known as "refugees."

The Arabs love their Palestinian brothers. It’s just that, well, they love them from a distance.

In any case, you should try your hardest to convince yourself that the Palestinians’ life under the Israeli "occupation" is the worst experience of any people under any regime in the history of the human race. The first step to believing this notion is to ignore the fact that Palestinians are much worse off in occupied Lebanon, where they are denied basic rights to employment, healthcare and government services –- unlike the Palestinians in Israel and in the "occupied" territories.

You should also avoid the subject of how Kuwait ethnically cleansed all Palestinians (about 300,000 of them) just a decade ago, and how Jordanians slaughtered thousands of them after the 1967 war.

Try to imagine that all of this isn’t very relevant. And neither is the fact that the world community never said too much about these Arab atrocities. It’s okay when Muslim Arabs practice genocide against Palestinians. It’s only wrong when the Israelis oppress Palestinians in the effort to defend themselves from terror.

You also shouldn’t stress yourself about the racism against Arabs that this whole double standard implies. Indeed, by holding Jews up to a higher moral accountability than Arabs, the view that lets Arabs off the hook for oppressing their own brethren implies a civilizational inferiority to them -- and a civilizational superiority to Jews. But don’t think through this too much. You might get depressed after realizing that, deep down, just like a Leftist despises the "underclass" people for whom he purports to speak, so too you have smug contempt for the Arabs that you believe you represent in your self-alienated imagination.

The key, in general, is that you should just avoid the whole issue of how the Jews have treated the Palestinians much better than the Arabs have.

It is also a very good idea for you to ignore the fact that Israel has given birth to an Arab citizenry inside Israel of more than one million people. This way you won’t have to wonder how it is that, as Israeli citizens, Arabs have more rights, privileges and opportunities than the citizens of any Arab state in the Middle East. Unlike their Arab brothers and sisters, Arab citizens in Israel vote in free elections and are themselves elected to the Israeli parliament. In other words, the only place where Arabs know democracy and a high standard of living is in a Jewish nation.

This is a hard pill to swallow for a person like you, who aspires to demonize Israel and to glorify the Arab world as the embodiment of true democracy and stupendous progress in world civilization.

So what you have to do is visualize images of how Israel is the most evil nation on the face of the earth and how Arabs and Palestinians have endured unspeakable suffering because of it.

Tip #5 – Imagine that Israel controls the "occupied" territories for some bizarre, vague and sinister reason.

That’s right: imagine that Israel controls the "occupied" territories because Jews have nothing better to do than to inflict pain. They think it’s in their interest to trigger terrorism against themselves, as well as to ignite the hatred of a large portion of the world’s population.

With great moral indignation, you should say things like, "the Israelis need to get out of the occupied territories." Say this as if it is a really easy, simple and safe thing for the Israelis to do.

Never consider that the Israeli "occupation" of the territories in question might actually not be the greatest crime in world history. It might also not deserve immediate rectification. Sometimes land is confiscated when aggressive and terrorist states repeatedly attack their neighbors -- and lose.

But this should not be your concern.

What should be your concern is to say things that make Israel look as if it controls areas like the West Bank because Israelis need to fill the void of no longer being allowed to sacrifice and eat gentile babies in their religious rituals.

Tip #6 – Say that Arafat isn’t a terrorist.

You should always say things like: "One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom-fighter." After that, say things like, "Arafat is a freedom-fighter."

You must always ignore that Arafat has provided sanctuary and support to Palestinian suicide bombers and terrorists of all stripes. Be very open-minded about how he has personally endorsed suicide bombings rhetorically and celebrated the cult of "martyrdom" and other forms of homicide.

And always make sure to announce things like, "Arafat has imprisoned militants." When you say this, don’t worry that the Palestinian "jails" that Arafat places "militants" in are notorious for their bars in the front and revolving doors at the back. Just tell people that Arafat is really trying to get terrorism under control.

Don’t lose any sleep over the fact that explosives of the specific type used by Palestinian suicide bombers have been found in Palestinian police stations all over the "occupied" territories. Also don’t concern yourself with the fact that 500 Palestinians were just recently arrested in and around Arafat's compound and that dozens of them were on Israel's lists of most-wanted terrorists. Arafat was obviously still trying his best to track these people down. The reason he couldn’t find them was that they were cleverly hiding in his office while he was desperately patrolling the West Bank looking for them.

And by all means, deny to others, as well as to yourself, that connections between the Palestinian Authority and international Islamic terror organizations, including al-Qaeda, have now been established beyond any reasonable doubt. If you accept this reality, then your whole belief system will come crashing down.

Just look really sure of yourself and say things like, "Arafat isn’t a terrorist. He is a freedom fighter."

Tip #7 – Imagine that Arafat has the interests of his own people in mind.

This is the key to being an effective apologist for Arafat. You must always tell people that your hero truly cares about his own people –- even though the history of his every move negates the possibility of this being the case.

A person that truly wanted the best for the Palestinian people would have embraced an offer that accepted 95% of the Palestinians’ negotiating demands and would have given the Palestinians their own sovereign state in Judea, Samaria and the Gaza Strip, more than 90 percent of the West Bank, and a capital in Jerusalem. That’s what Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak offered Arafat in 2000. But Arafat rejected the proposal, demanding, instead, the flooding of Israel with millions of Palestinians. He knew, as Israelis did, that such a development would destroy Israel as a Jewish state.

Arafat shrewdly understood that Israel could not, and would not, engage in self-destruction and this is how he succeeded in his main objective: to avoid the creation of a new Arab state and to annihilate the only Jewish one. That’s what the "Palestinian uprising," after all, is really all about.

It is obvious, therefore, why Arafat has consistently stifled all Israeli efforts to improve the prosperity of the Palestinian people. He wants his people to bleed in misery and destitution. That way their suffering can be exploited in the Arabs’ suicide wars against Israel.

Now the key for you, therefore, is to deny the obvious.

You know that the "Palestinian problem" is far more useful to Arafat than its solution will ever be. Arafat knows that peace with Jews is his own political suicide at best –- and his own death warrant at worst.

What you have to do is look people in the eyes as honestly as you can and say things like, "Arafat is really trying to help his people." Say this as if you yourself have been talking to Arafat and that he tells you things that he wouldn’t confide in most people.

Tip #8 – Say that Arab terrorism has nothing to do with jealousy.

It is absolutely crucial that you consistently tell anyone you talk to that Israel is vehemently hated by the Arabs because of something that Israel has done to the Arabs.

Never consider what the Arabs of the Middle East would do with all of their time if there were no Israel.

Never suspect that Middle Eastern Arabs spend such an inordinate amount of their daily life hating a nation that takes up 1% of land in the Middle East because they might have a little problem with envy and jealousy.

It might not be the easiest thing for Arabs to reconcile themselves with the reality that their culture has yet to produce one prosperous, functional and democratic society. Yet they see that the Jews have accomplished exactly that – in a tiny piece of land that was a desert fifty years ago. Indeed, the Jews have built the most powerful economy and the only industrial and democratic nation in the entire Middle East.

This is a very painful truth for Middle Eastern Arabs to accept. So as an Arafat apologist, your job is to completely ignore this phenomenon. You must fantasize that when Arabs jump up and down with ferocious rage for hours on end every day screaming "Death to Israel," that the solution to their rage is definitely not to get a job, let alone a life of any kind. The solution lies in the Jews smartening up and stopping being so evil. If they did that, then obviously Arabs would find better things to do than spend ten hours a day, seven days a week, hollering at the top of their lungs and foaming at their mouths in the middle of the barren deserts that they have lived in for centuries.

You see: Arabs don’t fail in making progress because of any serious pathology in their personal lives and culture. No, they mope around in long robes and headscarves in medieval societies because of what the Jews are doing to the Palestinians. And yes, ok, these same Arabs never lifted a finger or mouthed a word of protest when the Palestinians received much harsher treatment from Arabs. But don’t think this through. Actually, if anyone ever points this out to you, just say that the Arabs did protest the persecution of the Palestinians by other Arabs but that the Western press just didn’t report it.

Tip #9 – Say it’s in Israel’s interest to pursue "peace".

You should constantly say that it is in Israel’s interest to pursue "peace," even though all of the evidence suggests the exact opposite. More Israelis have died from terrorism since the signing of Oslo in 1993 than in the four decades before it. There have been more than 80 suicide bombings against Israel since the "peace process" began. Before Oslo, suicide bombings were almost non-existent. Each new atrocity against Israelis since 1993, meanwhile, has been hailed by the Palestinian media and the Palestinian Authority that controls it.

You should ignore facts such as these and make it a daily habit to say things like, "The Israelis should really try to make peace with Arafat. It’s in their interest."

Tip #10 – Shed yourself of any integrity you might have ever had.

In order for you to practice the previous nine tips successfully, you need to make sure that you rid yourself of any personal dignity or integrity that might ever have been a part of your character and personality. You have to be absolutely shameless and live by absolutely no ethical or moral standard of any kind. Otherwise you will not be able to lie to others, and to yourself, the way I instruct you to. Arafat supporters have done it effectively before you. But now you can do it the best. Be the best liar you can be. That way, you might yet become the best Arafat apologist on earth. You can do it!

Jamie Glazov holds a Ph.D. in History with a specialty in Soviet Studies. He is the author of 15 Tips on How to be a Good Leftist and of Canadian Policy Toward Khruschev’s Soviet Union (McGill-Queens University Press, 2002). Born in the U.S.S.R., Jamie is the son of prominent Soviet dissidents, and now resides in Vancouver, Canada. He writes the Dr. Progressive advice column for angst-ridden leftists at EnterStageRight.com. Email him at jglazov@rogers.com.

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