One morning he wakes up and doesn't, er, evacuate at all. He decides that this is a really bad sign, divests himself of everything, and sells short. Hours later, a coup is announced in China, and the communist system is overthrown for free-market capitalism. The world markets shoot upwards, and he loses everything and more. That night, in an attempt to undo the damage, our hero gobbles as many pimentos as his stomach can hold...so many that he constipates himself.
Not bad. I had envisioned him installing a bank of phones in the john, so he could call his brokers all over the world as soon as he got his "market signal." And as his diet of pimentos grew steadily more demanding, and his health deteriorated, he had to spend more and more time in the john, waiting with his phones for the "signal," emerging only to acquire and devour ever more pimentos ... and of course he's hopelessly hooked, because when he gets a profitable signal, he has no recourse but to consume more pimentos, because he can't afford NOT to send the signal ... so he's hopelessly trapped in his market manipulations, his pimento binging, and his increasingly erratic "signaling" system ... and that's where I didn't know how to end it. I never thought of your scenario. This (thankfully) unwritten tale is titled: The Man Whose Colon Traveled through Time.