Stay-at-home moms

The Deseret News ^ | 1/24/2002 | Marilyn Gardner

[Utah Girl]

I salute the stay-at-home moms out there. You all have the hardest job there is, raising future generations to be good people and citizens.

[Hila]

Indeed, staying at home and raising, nurturing, loving, being available to guide and correct is the greatest gift and career a woman may have. I have had the privilege of being home since the birth of our child, now a teen and see the contrast with peers whose parents dropped them at day care centers and after school programs. Why, there is no agonizing over children over careers! The accountability of parenthood is heavy, but more is the love factor; how can we be so deluted to think we have to have two incomes. When mothers are on their own, that's another story and we as a society need to find them in our communities and offer to them whatever is needed to bring them and their children together.

[A Ruckus of Dogs]

Barring extreme financial circumstances or other crisis, I can't imagine why any parent would dump an infant into daycare. If you are married and you want children some day, you should put aside money so one of you can stay home during the first years.

[where's_the_Outrage?]

But before her daughter was born, she received an unhappy surprise: Her employer gave new mothers only a six-week disability leave.

heard many members voice frustration over their lack of choices

I applaud their choice, but I hope this isn't the start of extended child care leave, or Government regulation requiring part time options.

With all the regulations and requirements in place these days, I'm amazed anyone starts a business.

[Quila]

Unfortunately, what stay-at-home moms would love to have is probably what Germany has -- and most would consider it socialist. You get several weeks before birth (more if the doctor says it's necessary) and I believe three months after birth, not at full pay IIRC. Both company and the health insurance company pick up the tab.

As further incentive to be a stay at home mom in the early years, there is something called Erziehungsurlaub, where the mother (or father) can stay at home for three years, with about $300/month (less or nothing if income is high enough so that the family can afford a stay at home parent anyway) from the government to help cover the job loss and health insurance coverage. After this, the kid's expected to be in Kindergarten and the parent is supposed to go back to work because at three years the benefits stop.

[Utah Girl]

My sisters who are stay-at-home moms would have heart seizures if they were subsidized by the government for staying at home. They all have part-time jobs for the extras (one is a labor and delivery nurse who works one night a week, one corrects restaurant reviews at home for about 15 hours a week, and one is a substitute teacher who works once a week.)

I hear the drumbeat coming for the government to step in and pay for longer maternity leave (up to a year), and subsidizing mothers, etc. The only thing that accomplishes is more governmental interference and higher taxes. Just lower taxes so that more mothers can stay at home with their kids and it isn't necessary for them to work. Simple solution. :)

[ghostcat]

I wish my wife could afford to be a stay at home mom, but with the government taking all those taxes out it is impossible for us to get by on just one income. We have been fortunate enough to be able to work it out so that one of us is always home for our children. We work opposing shifts. I work days and she works 4 tens on swingshift.

[LoneGOPinCT]

Mrs.LoneGOPinCT is a stay-at-home mom for our son and daughter. She has one degree already and is a semester or two away from a teaching degree is she so desired. When our son was born, she selflessly decided to put her career aspirations on hold for the good of our child (now children). She could easily be making $40-50K per year with either one of her degrees if she wanted to. And when our youngest starts going to school (whether it's present #2 or possible #3), she may decide to go back to work.

I don't know how she does it! But she says she wouldn't trade it for anything. We take great pride in being able to take responsibility (for better or worse) for raising our own kids. We couldn't imagine shipping them off to day care every day just so we could have that second income to make the BMW lease payment.

Anyone who says that they can't afford to have one parent stay-at-home is just not willing to make the sacrifices for their children. Like us, they might have to live with hand-me-down living room furniture, or forgo they weekly trip to the movies or out to dinner, or even get a second part-time job. I did break down and buy her a minivan recently (it nice to have the room!) but only because we had the extra money. If we really had to we could go down to one car thus saving a lot more money. Granted it would be inconvenient, but if we had to do it we could.

Anyone contemplating staying at home with a current or future child, by all means do it. It's amazing all that I miss out on during the day. Mrs.Lone is there to experience it all, which has been trying lately, but rewarding nonetheless. Plus you can raise your kids they way they are supposed to be raised. By their parents.

[Utah Girl]

My brother-in-law had his office at home for four years. One day he came to my sister and said "Your job is a lot harder than mine is." He could shut the door and not be interrupted by the kids, which was fine while he was working. But my sister ran (and still runs) a great household while even being able to go to the bathroom by herself. She locks the door, and says the kids fingers are still under the door and they are crying "Mom!" the whole time.

And one of my brothers didn't marry until he was 34. He and his wife moved to California for a job and had two children. They were the only couple in their subdivision with children under 10! Everyone else had dogs. I was visiting them a couple of years ago. We went to pick him up from work, and his then three year old ran towards him with his arms outstretched crying "Daddy, Daddy!" My brother picked him and gave him a big hug, and then said to me "Dogs don't do this." He absolutely loves being a father.

[LoneGOPinCT]

Shameless plug BUMP!

[MasonGal]

I feel very fortunate that I have been able to be a stay-at-home mom to our 3 sons for over 19 years now. (Our oldest son will be 19 this coming Sunday-my, oh MY - where HAVE those years gone?) Anyway - I have also been a homeschool mom for 10 years now.

I realize that many women are unable to stay-at-home. However, I feel so fortunate to have been able to be "at home" all these years.

Also - I feel as if I am in the minority these days, but I actually enjoy the art of homemaking. :)

[LoneGOPinCT]

My brother-in-law had his office at home for four years. One day he came to my sister and said "Your job is a lot harder than mine is."

Bull-$hit!! I know dang well that I couldn't handle it mentally or physically. And I work in our family business throwing 50 and 100 lb. bags around all day.

[Utah Girl]

And that is the criminal part about being taxed so high. I know that my parents couldn't have made it financially now if they were raising a family on a teacher's salary. And my dad did work two jobs almost the whole time I was growing up. It is very difficult. I'm single without children and just about die to see the taxes that are taken out of my paycheck.

[goodnesswins]

I SO wish I could have stayed at home when my son was young. It is one of the greatest of my regrets that I was unable to do so. (Long story.) I salute women who stay home and DO THE JOB (as opposed to a certain, un-named female I know who stays home, but doesn't lift a finger for her kids.)

[Utah Girl]

Hmmm, I'm not quite sure of your BS comment. My brother-in-law was complimenting my sister on how good of a mother she was and for having the patience to stick with raising their kids. I am a career woman (uck, not my choice, but I am single), and I can leave my job worries at work when I go home at night. Being a mom (and to an extent a dad) is a 24/7 proposition. I look forward to the day I get married and can have babies and raise them myself.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I bet Webster Hubbell wishes his daughters mom was a saty at home mother. Don't we all.

[Bryan24]

I have an Associates Degree(2 year, Electronic Technician). My wife has a BS in Computer Science. She worked at Boeing for 5 years. When we adopted our kids (a newborn and an 18 month old) we had decided years earlier that she would not work.

It cut our take-home pay in half. We survived. Easily. Not because we are rich but because we know what is the RIGHT thing to do.

Now my wife cannot fathom going back to work with children at home.

IT IS A PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY TO TEACH, NURTURE AND BRING UP THEIR CHILDREN. DAYCARE CENTERS HAVE NO PART IN THAT.

[pjd]

I was a stay-at-home-dad. When my daughter was born, I took the first year completely off while my wife went back to work. The following years, I set up a situation so that I could work at home. Dispite this situation, I was still able to become head of a multi-national scientific research corporation.

I have had many proud accomplishments in my life, but I still regard my days as Mr.Mom as far and away, the most satisfying and rewarding of all my days.

[ColdSteelTalon]

I think that women who get out of the work force to take care of their children are doing the nation a great service. They can raise their children precisely the way they need to be raised, rather than letting a total stranger do it. Besides when they get out of the work force it will allow men to make more since they will be in higher demand, and this in turn will help make it easier for women who want to stay at home and take care of their children.

[KC_for_Freedom]

I look forward to the day I get married and can have babies and raise them myself.

When we had our son and my wife announced that she wanted to stay at home, I did not know how wonderful the arrangement would be. We had less, but in retrospect we realize we both won the lottery. Keep to your plans Utah.

Our young man (and Eagle Scout) is college bound next year and it was extremely important that he got the 24/7 support as he grew. When my wife could finally return to work (when he was in school) it still seemed that there were things the family needed that could best be done with a free parent. And we never had a latch-key boy to worry about.