Love is ... life without the pitter-patter of tiny feet (Angry Feminist alert!)

Sydney Morning Herald ^ | 1/2/2 | Rachel Roberts

[A Ruckus of Dogs]

I agree with you. Not everyone has the temperament to be a parent. Better to decline to bring new lives into the world you do not have the resources to raise properly.

And for those of you who call such folks selfish, tell me, is it less selfish to have a child only to lock it up in daycare soon after its born?

[francisandbeans]

Speaking of nosy bodies, here is a rant from a self-proclaimed anti-marriage type of guy:

If you are at all happy with bachelorhood...don't let yourself be "talked" into marriage. Ever.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

We don't want to be woken up at all hours to attend a screaming infant that knows only the need to suck. We don't want to sacrifice our time and energy chasing death-defying toddlers or taxiing around teenagers who have recently learnt to hate us

Y'know, I can respect the decision not to have children, though maybe I can't understand it, having been maybe one of the few men, who always looked forward to being a husband and father. Thing is, there is a lot more to children than the above, especially with regard to toddlers and teenagers.

There's more than anger at people who wonder why she doesn't want children here: There's anger at children and the families that have them.

[discostu]

It's really easy to figure out who hates kids at the family gathering, look for the people that are furthest away from the play area, those are your "prime suspects". Then see what happens when they wind up having contact with kids (bound to happen, one can limit the frequency of child exposures but you can never eliminate them all together): if a visible shudder runs up their spine and they plaster a hollow grin on their face they hate kids.

Mind you, we're not psychotic or anything. We're not going to kill your child, we won't even allow them to come to harm through deliberate inaction, we understand the social importance of kids and that parents are usually emotionally attached to the little beasts. We just don't want to be around them and certainly don't want to live with one. There's a difference between "hate" and "wish destroyed", there's a long list of things I hate but a rather short list of things I wish destroyed. And remember, most of the people that are really dangerous to kids just love them, ask John Wayne Gacy. We're not the enemy, we just hate kids.

[ArrogantBustard]

I'm not at all clear what you're trying to imply about me, here; your post is anything but clearly worded. For the record, though, my thoughts (not feelings, please) regarding her selfishness have nothing to do with her being a her. If she was a he, I'd say the same thing. Do you view children as nothing more than a burden, inconvenience, and drag on your free-wheeling lifestyle? Was your conscience, perchance, pricked by my comment?

AB

[Maceman]

That is how it is spelled (sceptical) in most English-speaking countries, including Australia.

I suppose if you consider Autralia an English speaking country, anything is permissable, right mite?

[al_c]

Do you feel the same way about them?

Sure do.

[discostu]

Oh bless you. So rare to get any support on these threads. I use that arguement sometimes (should someone that doesn't like kids have kids), usually I'm met with the facile "once you have them you'll love them". And while this sometimes is the case it isn't always. My wife reads a lot of true crime and one of the most common phrases you'll see in those books is "unwanted child". There are people that don't decide to love kids once they have one. I don't think it's fair to gamble the kid's sanity on whether or not my attitude will change the minute their born. Doesn't seem selfish to me.

[joathome]

No, actually my comments were intended for no one in particular. Just pointing out the double standard. That's all.

My kids aren't a drag at all. And I hope to have two more by the end of next month since we have decided to adopt.

[joathome]

"Do you feel the same way about them?

Sure do."

But many here wouldn't, and that is my point. That's all.

[goodnesswins]

Oh....but for the narcissism of youth.....the unfortunate thing is NOT that she feels this way, but that someone printed her "feelings" and that we are bothering to read it.

[ArrogantBustard]

Just pointing out the double standard.

Which double standard? I certainly did not express one.

AB

[joey'smom]

Parenthood is an option, not an obligation. You'll never miss not having something you never wanted anyway. Hang in there!!

[cake_crumb]

"We just don't want to be around them and certainly don't want to live with one. There's a difference between "hate" and "wish destroyed", there's a long list of things I hate but a rather short list of things I wish destroyed"

I'm just trying to get you to understand the difference between hate and dislike. "Hate" is a very passionate, violent and distructive emotion. "Dislike" is a strong and much more rational emotion.

I "dislike" Brussels sprouts. I don't hate them. I don't start "anti-Brussels sprouts" campaigns, in order to make it politically correct for everyone to hate Brussels sprouts.

I believe the term you mean to use to discribe your feelings toward kids is that you dislike them. That's fine. This woman appears, by her hystrionic ranting, to HATE parenthood, and seems to be on a campaign to make it politically correct for everyone to hate parenthood, as well.

[luckystarmom]

I don't think she'll change her mind at 35. I think she will change her mind at 45. Then she'll use fertility treatments to have her baby, even though she really is too old to have a baby.

I know lots of women that hit 40 and decide they want to have a baby. Then they get upset when they don't get pregnant.

[Bigg Red]

Maybe you need to find more polite company. A decision to marry or to bear children is a personal one for a man and a woman, and people who care about you should not be giving you unsolicited advice about it, unless you are harming someone, e.g., having children outside of marriage. Since you can't swap out your relatives, you need to defend yourself when you are with them. My answer would be along the lines of "If you'll forgive me for not answering that question, I'll forgive you for asking it" or "Oh, my heavens, such an impolite question!" followed by an indulgent chuckle.

[joathome]

I will try one more time. I was making "general" observations about the "general" tone of a number of men on this board.

I'm not even sure this article would have even been posted if it was written by a man. What do you think? :)

[<1/1,000,000th%]

Evolution in progress.

[Nathan Jr.]

You have my support as well! While I can't say that I hate kids, I have always felt indifferent to the idea of having children of my own. I think it's God's way of telling me that maybe I SHOULDN'T have children. At forty years of age, all I have ever felt is "whatever..." when it comes to the subject of children. I just don't feel the parental urge. The desire to be a parent has just never been there. Can't force it.

[discostu]

No, I hate kids. Being around them makes me tense, gives me a headache and causes me to be more aggressive and just generally in a bad mood. As I said there's "hate" and "wish destroyed". I don't seek to kill kids and I don't have a problem with other people having them, just don't make me deal with them, or at least bring me booze to steady my nerves after you take the kid away.