Resist the Turkey Tyranny

American Thinker.com ^ | November 25, 2020 | J.B. Shurk

[Kaslin]

For those poor souls stuck behind the nanny state bars of Democrat fiefdoms this year, resist the turkey tyranny! There will come a day when future generations ask whether you yielded to the capricious decrees of Lord High Chancellor Newsom or Comrade de Blasio or Countess Whitmer, or whether you ignored their edicts by mashing bags of potatoes and drowning oversized gravy boats to satisfy a familial army and pack leftovers for weary travelers sneaking furtively back home under the noses of local snitches. When some wide-eyed great-grand-nephew asks years from now whether you informed on your neighbors for engaging in excessive good cheer, be proud to reply that all your neighbors were stuffing their faces with helpings of pumpkin or Dixie pie somewhere around the extended dining room table’s overflow into your living room. In 2020 — the year Democrats tried to ban the family for good — you fought back by making your family bigger. It was glorious.

Of course, just because they’re all family doesn’t mean they’re all enlightened. When that sarcastic niece with more opinions than thoughts looks across the table for something vegan to nibble, remind her that the delicious-smelling turkey sitting before her is just an ordinary clump of cells and nothing to get too worked up over. And if the know-it-all aunt pacing around the house with pink genitalia knitted atop her head demands to know why Trump won’t concede, tell her that it’s only polite to let ladies go first, and everyone’s still waiting on Hillary. Also, don’t be afraid to talk about the early warning signs of dementia and whether we can look forward to regular Silver Alerts from the White House asking Americans to be on the lookout for a hair-sniffing gent speaking gibberish.

[posterchild]

He said “What were you arrested for, kid?” And I said “Celebrating Thanksgiving.” And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things ...

[BenLurkin]

Oh wait. Wrong Turkey.

[Wuli]

I have traveled cross country to be with my family tomorrow - two brothers, two sisters, their children and grand children. And yes, friends will also be included in our get together.

One of the sisters attends a church that has been having full, in the sanctuary, church services since May - contrary to California “regulations” , with no Covid-19 cases among the church members.

[glennaro]

Lord High Chancellor Newsom

I prefer the significantly more accurate title "Newsom the Vile".

[freedumb2003]

And disturbing the peace.

Then they all moved back and we all had a good old time!