Hey Guys, Put a Ring on It

National Review ^ | February 9, 2017 | W. Bradford Wilcox & Nicholas H. Wolfinger

[C19fan]

Marriage is not worth it. It’s not worth the financial sacrifices, the lost sexual opportunities, and the lack of freedom. All in all, it’s a ball and chain — of little benefit to any man interested in pursuing happiness and well-being. This is the view that we’ve encountered from many young men of late.

[BJ1]

>>>My good looking sweet 37 year old nephew says he can’t find anybody. I can’t believe girls are not throwing themselves at him.<<<

My guess is that he does have many women his own age throwing themselves at him. They have hit the wall and their biological clocks are ticking loudly. All the more reason for your nephew to be wary of this demographic and have very high standards. Because he runs the risk that the woman simply “settled” for him. And then he will come home one day to find that ‘she is not in love with him anymore” or some variation of that.

Your nephew probably means he can’t find anybody he wants.

FYI there is a whole world of women available on the internet. If you are willing to be patient with the cultural differences and willing to do the hard work of screening out scammers who just want a green card, your nephew will find an absurdly large number of women who are: 1) prettier than he can get here 2) younger than he can here and 3) more traditionally minded than he can find here.

He probably won’t find an educated professional woman, but if that isn’t his concern, no harm in looking.

[BJ1]

And risked getting divorced over a job transfer?

[IrishBrigade]

What I have seen several times is that once women are in a committed relationship, they tend to let themselves go.

this is normal...however,a husband who respects his wife will not complain that what he once saw is not what he now sees, because that goes both ways...

[goodnesswins]

Bookmarked for discussion with certain relatives

[snooter55]

BFL

[ladyjane]

My good looking sweet 37 year old nephew says he can’t find anybody. I can’t believe girls are not throwing themselves at him.

Uh - maybe guys are? (sorry, couldn't resist)

[rb22982]

I don’t think anyone suggests it’s all women’s fault - the problem is no matter is who is at fault or who decides to end the marriage, the man gets screwed the vast majority of the time and the rest of the time it just ends neutrally. Coupled with so many women giving away the milk for free, why get married unless you are just dead set on having kids and willing to fight the state/education system for their belief structure for the next 25+ years (unless you are lucky enough to find a quality woman willing and smart enough to home school them).

[Jolla]

Been here 30 years, retiring in about 4 years will go from San Diego back to Hill Country - sold our house in San Francisco last year, when I look at zillow prices in south Texas I smile

[leaning conservative]

Ah, you must have been talking to my brother ; ) Yes, the system is very skewed against the man, but very good at making him a piggy bank. Understand that I am not advocating a father not support his child, but the woman pretty much holds all the cards.

Marriage is a serious & wonderful thing. It’s not about the dress & the reception, it’s about love & respect & friendship. It is what you make of it.

[Ouderkirk]

The options you have outlined are close.

The one item that you have omitted is the (one or more) bastard children that she spawned with said lowlife(s) she’s been bedding. Many (most by my experience) of them nappy haired or mestizo.

NEarly all of these women would hide these children for some time before “springing” this tidbit of information. They would typically be housed with grandma until such time that “the hook” was securely implanted.

[GOPsterinMA]

You guys know my view on marriage: NEVER in the USA and NEVER to a Westernized woman.

My family/friends that have pulled off marriage here...good for them. They seem to have chosen well.

But, overall there’s more “I’ll take door number three, Monty!” failures than successes.

Put it this way: You know what happens to the Titanic. Do you REALLY want to tempt fate that you get a seat on a lifeboat? I sure as s**t don’t.

Harsh truth right here: http://www.returnofkings.com/114216/5-ways-anglo-women-have-turned-themselves-into-sex-objects

[VanDeKoik]

"What I have seen several times is that once women are in a committed relationship, they tend to let themselves go.

this is normal...however,a husband who respects his wife will not complain that what he once saw is not what he now sees, because that goes both ways..."

And THIS is precisely why men are getting sick of this shtick.

She goes into marriage with no responsibilities or expectation. She can "let herself go", but he sure cant slack off on being the "provider" and "protector".

She can "get headaches" for the next 30 years, but he sure as heck cant say anything that may make her "cry" or she is out of there with half of his money + alimony thanks to no-fault.

She can nag him to hell and gone, but he better make sure he doesn't leave the toilet seat up.

Men have nothing to gain from marriage anymore, but are supposed to "respect" all the the stuff she can get away with because the feminist left and the equally female-worshiping right have her covered from the courthouse to the church.

[dfwgator]

Abandoning traditional families is the single biggest reason for the growth of government. Something fills the void.

[Responsibility2nd]

Women consider the gov't much more reliable in the roles men played in the past.

 

And this is by design and intent. Since the days of LBJ and his Great Society, the government has downgraded and delegitimized marriage as they've increased the role and importance of the government taking center stage in our lives and in our famllies. From marriage penalty taxes to homo marriages - it keeps getting worse.

 

[GOPsterinMA]

“If he moves out of Boston...”

In case my handle doesn’t give it away, I’m in MA and I live in a Boston suburb.

I discussed geography/quality of women with someone I’m pinging last week.

I did some serious recon in the Boston over the last year+, specifically focusing on American women and the results are, unexpectedly, horrible. Like I told someone I’m pinging, I met ONE available, native born and bred American female that I’d consider for a girlfriend. ONE.

Now, I have friends in other parts of the country and I basically hear the same, exact horror stories from them regarding their local stock. So the virus, much like a zombie apocalypse, spreads rapidly and completely.

Sidenote: Good to see some real Red Pill knowledge in this thread. If there’s any topic out there that needs to be looked at with harsh, brutal realism, it’s the state of marriage in Westernized countries in 2017.

[ladyjane]

So many complaints about women on this thread. So many unhappy men who complain about women who let themselves go after marriage.

I see a lot of guys who are poorly groomed, who don’t know how to remove their hat indoors, and who are overweight. Next time you’re at Cracker Barrel - count the pot bellies on the guys.

[Praetorian]

“What do today’s women actually bring to the table that is worth the risk of a divorce? “

Not a damn thing.

That is why 100% of the shaming is on the guys to ignore the failure of the people that support this crap to raise quality females, or to prevent the state from rigging so many laws that refuse a husband to a wage slave.

Not once do I ever see these people rant at women. NOT ONCE!

Because they are p-whipped cowards.

Guys aren’t stupid

Amen. Unfortunately, most women bring little to the table and feel entitled to EVERYTHING. Sadly, many are nothing more than well-used holes attached to nag machines. Marriage make no sense for men and hasn't for about the last 40 years or so due to no-fault divorce. It isn't that there aren't any good women out there, but the risk is too high to find them and the reward is too low given the risk. Not All Women Are Like That, but Enough Women Are Like That to make it an unacceptable risk. If a man gets married today, it is like playing Russian Roulette with half the chambers loaded. You might as well be dead if you lose and your only reward for winning is not dying.

Also, you have to keep in mind that it is a MARRIAGE CONTRACT. Always add the term contract after the word marriage to really bring home the absurdity of signing onto this sort of thing. It is a contract that gives women rights, nothing but obligations to men, and gets the 800 lb. gorilla of government involved in your relationship.

[VanDeKoik]

“So many complaints about women on this thread.”

So many people pretending like the complaints have no validity.

“So many unhappy men who complain about women who let themselves go after marriage.”

Because men should totally ignore that, because?

“I see a lot of guys who are poorly groomed, who don’t know how to remove their hat indoors, and who are overweight. Next time you’re at Cracker Barrel - count the pot bellies on the guys.”

So?

Women get married based on how much he makes and how much he will make. This is not a big mystery. That is why 25 year olds marry 55 year olds. In the end, you guys can divorce those slobs and get $$$$$ for the rest of your lives. Men cant.

Women are expected to bring their looks and their sexuality + potential child-bearing to marriage. That is it! This is not a huge secret to you guys either.

[rb22982]

Yes, a lot of men do let themselves go after marriage too - especially as they work more hours and move up their careers. In my early 20s, I only worked 35-40 hours a week and never traveled for work or spent any time thinking about finances and retirement. Now that I'm in my mid 30s as a finance exec for a decent size company, I work ~60 hours a week (with a lot of travel) and spend another 5 hrs a week working on personal finances for the wife and I. As such, I've probably gained ~15 lbs in the last 12 years, as has my wife. We both still look fairly good (IMO) but as we get closer to financial independence in the next 5-10 years, I'm hoping we can both drop those 15 lbs and maybe another 5-10 lbs while we're at it.

My wife won't let me keep myself poorly groomed or not dressed nicely :)

[DNME]

I hear ya, Van. My wife of 20 years has had a “headache” for more than half of those years. She “lost all interest” after a hysterectomy but I’m still good to go, so to speak. I’m just permanently benched.

And there ain’t jack I can do about it. I can’t say anything (though I keep hinting) and I sure can’t force the issue at risk of arrest or worse. I don’t cheat so that option is off the table as well.

I thought marriage involved a certain level of shared sacrifice and “taking one for the team” now and then, but I was wrong. Or at least I was wrong to think that was a 2-way street. She holds all the cards. I love my wife but now I wear a swim suit when I take a shower because I’m morally opposed to looking down on the unemployed.

It’s frustrating as hell but I wonder how many other married men (millions?) go to work every morning just horny as hell and savagely frustrated.

Yeah, I know it’s all just self-pity. Sorry. *Sigh*