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I'll be married 30 years this September. Having been married this long (and having dated my wife for 6 years before we got married, for a total of 36 years together) I am more than qualified to comment on this article.

Yes, marriage has benefits. The article documents them fairly well so no need to go into them.

I'll simply answer the question that every single married man eventually asks themselves if they're married long enough:

Yes. They all are. Welcome to the club. Find a hobby, develop external friendships, get out of the house a few nights a week to save your sanity.

For those of you men who aren't married and reading this, I'm going to break the married men code here and tell you what the question is?

Are they ALL bat-shit crazy?

Yes. They all are. Welcome to the club. They get that way after children and are on the verge of becoming empty nesters with you. Their hormones go nuts during "the change" and they begin to question EVERYTHING including the choices they've made about having children, raising them, putting careers on hold, wanting to resume a career and then realizing they're pretty much dependent on you for their own financial well being. That's when they feel "trapped" and start regretting every decision they've ever made.

Do yourself a favor: get out of her way and let her figure things out for herself. Don't try and "fix" her, she's not "fixable" in the traditional sense that we poor men know how to fix things like our cars, computers, stuff around the house, etc.. Keep your mouth shut, say as little as possible and find a hobby, preferably that involve other men and getting out of the house at least two nights a week "with the guys."

Hobbies help us keep our minds occupied while they "figure it out" and there's safety in numbers with other men who've also figured out by now (or soon will...) that yes, they're all bat-shit crazy.

Trust me on this. I'm in the middle of it right now. Every single guy I know has either been through the same thing already and come out the other side ok, or will be going through it soon and is seeking out advice.

If you want to know why men become woman haters, it happens during their going bat-shit crazy phase. They ALL do it, they ALL are.

Good advice, mate, but I wold add just one thing: some go shrieking bonkers / batsh1t crazy after the child is born. Mine went bloody psycho after the birth of her first child and it was an absolute looney-bin situation for some time after that.

Oh, and for those of you still wondering; yes, it is all your fault. You might as well stop trying to prove any woman is wrong when she has decided that no matter what the problem is, it is not hers.

It is yours.

Get used to it.

Case in point; ask any female about some friend of theirs who has separated from their boyfriend or husband if you think they can ever wind up together again. The answer will always be ‘maybe, but he has to change’.

Right then? HE has to CHANGE.

Says it all there, doesn’t it.

That’s a brutal assessment, but I have to admit I see some of myself in your description. I don’t regret anything, but for a year or so, I was questioning what I was doing with my life. One thing that wasn’t in question was that I am married to an incredible man. He treats me like a queen and I love and adore him. When he sees the crazy work its way out, he’s there with a bottle of wine to tame the beast. I’ve mellowed out since starting hormone replacement, as well.

That said, he did join a band a couple months ago. :)

I worry very much for my children, though.

I hope you get through these times all right, because I hear it’s much better on the other side of menopause.