Actually, he was on his way home from working at a homeless shelter for Jewish orphans when he heard a kitten cry. He lifted the tarp on the boat just as a band of fat, white, male Tea Partiers wearing “Bush 2004” buttons came by and shot both him and the kitten with AR-15s. The kitten died, the kid fell, wounded, into the boat, trying to cover the kitten with his own body, and cutting his throat on the peace symbol necklace he wore.
lol! That was pretty good. But you left out Mama. And trains. And pickup trucks. And rain. Oh, wait... never mind.
;-)