Blackberries and tats don't grow on trees.
The Hell you say!!!
Why, the quality of life is irredeemably diminished without taxpayer funded tattoos and smartphones!
(Do I really need a sarcasm tag?)
While we’re on the subject, I think I need to write to President Obama and ask for my Lamborghini. Gotta get my share of the pie, right?
Oh, wait.....I’m of Russian/Swedish and Italian extraction. No pie for me :-(