We're doomed.
The alien will probably say ‘I have never studied a species that actually enjoys being probed and prodded”.
“Great. It’ll be just our luck we finally make contact with beings from another planet and the first earthlings they meet will be a spaceship full of gays and lesbians.
We’re doomed.”
HA Ha. That’s true! They’ll think we are all just a bunch of devaint buttslammin wussies and clipped-haired skanks and blow up the planet!