Disclosure time: I have a HS senior and a HS junior here at home with us.
On somewhat of a tangent, myself . . .
All my professional life, folks have . . . pontificated about teens etc.
Thankfully, research now affirms my own conclusions . . .
Teen years do NOT have to be traumatic for teens or parents of teens.
Quite a number of parents succeed in rearing children who, when they reach their teen years still manage quite an agreeable unfolding maturing relationship that includes a lot of growing evolving freedom for the teens matched to their evolving maturity—all with relatively little to no great emotional conflicts and outbursts.
I realize many parents do not achieve such a wonderous state.
My bias is that quality teen years relationships between teens and parents is set-up in the bonding attachment of the first 8 years of life.
Add to that a well managed pre-teen period, the teen years should be fine.
But that requires LOTS OF TIME, CARING, HEALTHY AFFECTION, INTENSE ACTIVE LISTENING ETC. all along the way.
Would your experience with your teens affirm my conclusions and observations, or not?