I know about the many sleepless nights and being unable to get anyone who will even just listen to me. I've tried telling christians from other denominations and they just look at me with this stare not having any clue the kind of darkness and despair I've had to go through. I've tried to find companionship with sexual abuse survivors only to have them be freaked out about the insane testimony of what I've been through. I've already talked with many hard-core fundamentalist christian apologists and pastors and they're all out of answers for me. The best they can come up with is "uh...well....I guess all you can do is trust God and hope you've followed the right version of christianity...."
Again, no real description of what went wrong. Just that it was the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone.
Well, I got all fed up with the insanity, hypocrisy, conflicting doctrines, the and lack of absolute answers in regards to “salvation,” heaven and hell and other theological issues, the child abuse, brainwashing, lies, gossip, scandals, threats and fear mongering. I got tired of always hearing “oooohh, you’re saved by grace, not by works!” “Everybody loves you! Jesus loves you!” only to hear about how I was going to hell for watching “The simpsons” or could lose my salvation and could never be certain if 30 years from now I might lose it due to some odd sin and die in an accident and end up in this eternal hell preached to us day and night.
One does wonder about childhood sexual abuse . . . and what is he labeling that and by whom.
And what is reality vs fantasy vs demonized ‘astral trips.’