[Lady Jag]

Turn your thermostats up!

 

 

IT IS GOOD TO BE A WOMAN:

 

» We got off the Titanic first.

» We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

» Taxis stop for us.

» We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

» No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.

» We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

» If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

» We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.

» We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are     

  still there.

» We have the ability to dress ourselves.

» We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them

  naked.

» If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an   

  idiot.

» There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

» We'll never regret piercing our ears.

 

 

 

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Funny... in a misinformed-about-human-males sorta way! ;)

[Dead Corpse]

IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN ...

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You could care less if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky looking.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood, ALL the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You can kill your own food.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He's mad at me."
• You don't mooch off others' desserts.
• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife or your teeth.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 18 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.