Have you considered fixating on one of these instead? It occurred to me, by remembering way back when, about a Yale student writing a "Dear Abby" about his rubber duck fixation. She "outed" him as being rather shall we say "disingenuous" by noticing the New Haven postmark. One couldn't get anything past her. She was from Council Bluffs, Iowa.
Let's see: I've discussed goat diapers, naughty veggies, cave-sex, and rubber duckies on FR today. I think it might be time to call it a night. I shudder to guess what I'll dream about. :)