Posted on 07/22/2006 6:03:00 PM PDT by NYer
Based on that pic, ain't nothing "pretty" about it!
As a father of eight, I can say that I know you've missed a lot! A lot of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, broken and lost property, bickering, smart mouth, frustrated wife ...and the list goes on and on... to include the kind of love, fun and joy that you can only get from your own kids. I'm sure my wife and I have missed a lot of quiet mornings, interesting hobbies, peaceful nights, exiting trips etc. It's nice to know that you're truly content...
...and that we'd never trade places, and that we both can feel good about that.
well, actually no. they hung around long enough to get a piece of her assets, then left her to herself. She had macular and osteoarthritis....
She also had alzheimers setting in, and was headed for a wheel chair.
Bunk. Just because my wife and I do not have children does not mean we are not a family. My wife is family in every way, shape, and form.
She also had alzheimers setting in, and was headed for a wheel chair
So she won't even know the stuff was taken then. I think we are being too hard on the families who chose not to have children. I love my children, but come on it is a choice why should we get upset with others for making the choice. God might not have wanted them to have children or maybe has has another job for them to do like maybe they will be the one to take care of their parents in their elder years...who knows.
I grew up at the same time you did, with a different experience. My mother stayed home until I was in kindergarten, then went back to work. We had a live-in housekeeper, so there was always someone home when I got home, her or my mother. "Day care" as we know it now didn't exist.
Divorce very nearly didn't, either. I remember one girl out of all the boomer kids in my neighborhood, whose mother was divorced - and you always said that word in a whisper!
I completely agree with your statement. I on the other hand have two wonderful sons. I keep trying to get some way to gauge my perception - since they seem like the best, well mannered, fun loving, easiest kids to ever be with. But then again, I knew for myself, since about age 17 that this was my heart's desire (although thankfully they did not come around until age 35) ...to be a dad and to raise some children with true love. And as for those who don't want kids - I don't think "oh what they're missing" - nor do I envy them. It really has nothing to do with kids or no kids, but rather understanding yourself and your place on this earth during your lifetime...
How much money do you make a year?
Wow -- you lurk here?
Tell me: do you get ticked off at names like "Billzebubba", or do you just laugh it off? Are you still bitter over the impeachment thing? Have you talked to Hillary about plans for 2008? Inquiring minds want to know!
Sorry to jump in late, and I'm not questioning your and your wife's decision not to have children, but I wanted to give my answer to your "genetic make-up" question.
I wrestled with the same issue as I have allergies and two chronic illnesses. Did I want to pass along (if the illnesses are inherited) these diseases? But then I realized that even though there are times that I am miserable, and I may end up on the left side of the life-expentency curve, I am very happy to be alive!
So we took the plunge and I have a wonderful (although challenging!) two year-old son, and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
She isn't your child. She isn't a continuation of your legacy into the future. She and you are components of a family, but not all the components; a single generation does not a family make.
It doesn't mean that what you and your wife have isn't a valuable and precious thing. A good marriage makes each other a complete person. But it is, nevertheless, a different thing. It is a different social construct, to fill a different, but connected, social need.
A marriage is a social tool to deal with the immediate problems of the here and now, preferably for the duration of a lifetime. A family is a social tool to deal with the future and connect with the past. A family can go on long after the married couple have passed on.
Well, you almost made it! That was a snide and backhanded insult at those of us without children. Good try.
STill disagree. Do some reading on trends in demographics these days and I think you'll find that, at least in Western civilization and Japan, the failure to reproduce at the replacement rate presents HUGE problems for the future.
Plus it's just a sign of deep-seated pessimism.
I maintain that my wife is family. Baby makes three. This needless hair-splitting leads to the absurd situation in which parents that tragically lose their only child get demoted to "childless couple." They're no longer a family? Bunk, I say.
Maintain what you want. You'll still be wrong. Just as the homosexuals who get some official to declare that what they have is a marriage are wrong.
It's like the old riddle: "If we call the tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?" Answer: "Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it so."
This needless hair-splitting leads to the absurd situation in which parents that tragically lose their only child get demoted to "childless couple." They're no longer a family?
They tragically become a couple who lost their child, but still have their marriage. Depending on your faith system, the family is either lost, or continues in another realm. Mine teaches that families are forever. Here's one back to you: if a childless married couple get divorced, do they still have a "family"? How about if they had children? If sibling children lose their parents, are they still a family? Can you divorce a brother or sister, a father or a mother? What do these answers tell you about the vital component of a family?
You're so intent on definitions, what about the parents who divorce after creating x number of children, ensuring constant handoffs and "visitations"? Are they more of a "family" than say, some of us childless couples who have been together happily for more than twenty years? :)
Maybe (Probably?) they are looking in the wrong places and behaving the wrong way. Married my wife when she was 35.
It is a matter of convincing the guy that you offer something that no other woman does - companionship of the heart. We went out to a movie and arrived at the theatre early - she wanted to go to a nearby bookstore until the movie started. From that minute onwards I was determined to marry her.
Again, I must state that expected longevity was only one of my criteria, and not the most important one at that.
I did want to retire, though, so I factored it in.
I like your attitude, really. You can see both sides of the issue and not be upset. I wish I were that flexible. Unfortunately, I am not. Noise, unrest, and all that sort of thing would have sent me to an early grave, so fortunately for me, I could see my limitations and acted accordingly.
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