Explosive spam guard and popup blocker.
A bit like when they close the Iris in Stargate....
Splat! Splat! Splat! ....
I'm going to let you in on a little-known secret. There's a real quick and easy way to get rid of pop-ups and spam forever. Come here close and I'll whisper it to you....
(whispers)...Take a really big claw hammer, grasp it firmly in your preferred hand, and swing it with decisive force upon the computer with the offending popups and spam. Repeat. That gets rid of 'em real good!
NOTE: Don't use one of those liberal, limp-wristed 8 or 9oz hammer. Get a real man's 16oz hammer, or better yet, a two-handed sledgehammer.