That's what they told us growing up. But now it's hard not to be more skeptical about that idea. Lee was in the US Army for something like 30 years and had sworn an oath of allegiance when he accepted his commission. Clearly he felt great loyalty to Virginia and didn't want to raise his hand against his native state. His attitude was wholly understandable, but it doesn't look at all as praiseworthy as it once may have.
He had no more loyalty to a federal CSA than he did to a federal USA. He didn't want Virginia to split from the USA.
Once the war started Lee was a strong supporter of the centralized Confederate government against "state's rights." It was a matter of giving the central government in Richmond the means and resources to win the war, and he was totally behind that. After all, it would have made little sense to subordinate everything to the interests of one state, rather than to the nation at war.
Lee was loyal to the CSA or to Virginia in some ultimate sense was another matter. But if he did consider himself to be a free agent, bound only to his attachment to Virginia and not the the various government he'd sworn allegiance to, there's a lot that's morally questionable about that.
I think that if Virginia had remained in the Union, he would have offered his services to Lincoln and Virginia against the rebellion.
That is also a tricky assumption that raises moral questions. One thing about Lee is how much he changed over time. Within a few months he went from not accepting secession as constitutional, to embracing it, to giving his all for the Confederacy.
Lee was certainly a great gentleman, but the image of him as a man of unwavering principle may not hold up. He looks to have been led by his heart and sentiments more than by his head. Such sincerity can be laudable, but heeding the emotions more than reason can also lead people astray.
LOL! '
I recognize no necessity for the state of things, and would have forborne and pleaded to the end for redress of grievances, real or supposed, yet in my own person I had to meet the question whether I should take part against my native State.What would you do, when the federal government asks you to wage wage on your mother and father, sister and brother?With all my devotion to the Union, and the feeling of loyalty and duty of an American citizen, I have not been able to make up my mind to raise my hand against my relative, my children, my home. I have, therefore, resigned my commission in the Army, and save in defense of my native State (with the sincere hope that my poor services may never be needed) I hope I may never be called upon to draw my sword.