Good post. It'd be very comforting to ascribe to every misfortune some rational responsibility (they should have known a tidal wave was coming, they should stay home and raise their own kids, etc.). I fall into myself. So does my wife. But sometimes ppl do their best and bad things still happen. Personally, I wouldn't want a kid I couldn't afford, so I don't have any. I don't see how ppl manage. I wouldn't put a kid in day care, but that's just me. I also wouldn't send a kid to a public school.
I am personally of the belief that part of the willingness to blame the parents in cases like this is that everyone wants to believe that it can't happen to them. If you can distance yourself from it, it's easier to convince yourself that it won't happen to you.
We all do the best we can as parents, so I hate to see people get bashed over what happened to their child in this case. The nanny is the one who beat their baby...not them. Having a nanny is not, imo, an irresponsible thing. If you can afford one, though, I have to wonder why you do, kwim?
A little bit of day care isn't bad if the child is older, not an infant, and if the child likes it. It depends on the child - some love getting to play with other kids. My daughter LOVED it, but she was 3, an only child, and apparently bored at home. She would have gone full time if we let her.
>>Personally, I wouldn't want a kid I couldn't afford, so I don't have any. I don't see how ppl manage. I wouldn't put a kid in day care, but that's just me. I also wouldn't send a kid to a public school.<<
What? Am I reading a post from someone with self restraint? I don't believe it!
Why don't you want a baby that you can show off to all the relatives after they have hounded you for years to have a child?.......As if they were going to pay all of the costs and dole out the time and energy needed to properly raise the little guy/gal.
When I was in my 20's every dang relative that I had was bugging me 12/7 about getting married. Finally I learned the trick. Don't reply, just put your hand out. When they say, "What?" reply, "Come on, cough up the money. You pay my bills, find me the time to spend with a wife and still let me work 10 hours a day because I want to invest 50% of my paycheck for a few more years.
Amazingly, ask those questions once, they changed the subject and never asked it again! They knew that they were up to their ears in bills and needing time for everything.
When I did get married, at 32 they realized, yup by golly there is two ways for people to do everything. There's the dumb way and the dumber way.
27 years later, my wife and I will take the dumb way, thank you all. My daughters, 24 and 25 have also chosen the dumb way much to the sadness of half a dozen young men who have tried to put a ring in their nose.
Who CAN afford to have kids? We have 7, 5 in Catholic school and we can't afford to get out of bed in the morning. But somehow we do it! They're worth every struggle, every pinched penny and I haven't missed going to the Caribean, fur coats or having a mercedes.