[exile]

Time for old uncle Exile to break things down for everyone:
1. Martin Sheen - Plays the president on TV. He thinks that makes him an expert or something. If he played a doctor, would he start performing surgery?
2. Leonardo DiCaprio - I thought he died from drinking coke and eating pop-rocks. But seriously, this little Pansy's career is going great! He'll be doing gay porno in a few months.
3. Ellen Degeneres - another celebrity powerhouse! (God I hope she doesn't do porn)
4. David Duchovny - Well, X-files was a good show, and how about everything else he's done. Oh wait, he hasn't done anything else.
5. Sharon Stone - Great, just what I need, political commentary from an aging hag who's greatest lifetime achievement is forgetting her underwear.
6. Meg Ryan - Hey Meg, shouldn't you be getting more plastic surgery in your vain attempt at stalling Father Time?
7. Ashton Kutcher - Dude where's my talent!
8. Demi Moore - Shouldn't she be getting home, it's past her boyfriend's bedtime.
7. Jodie Foster - Jodie, Jodie, Jodie. You're not fooling anyone. Just put on a pair of doc Martins and start following golf.
8. Drew Barrymore - Damn druggie (sorry, got lazy on that one)
9. Chris Rock - Hey didn't you love him in that movie with Jackie Chan?
10. Jack Black - The poor man's Tom Green
11. Matthew Perry - ?
12. Diane Lane - sorry, drawing a blank here. Is she Superman's girlfriend?
13. Marisa Tomei - Who did she sleep with to get an Oscar?
14. Viggo Mortensen - I have no idea. Sorry.

[Slings and Arrows]

Ellen Degeneres - another celebrity powerhouse! (God I hope she doesn't do porn)

She has. With Sharon Stone.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled nightmare.

[an amused spectator]

Thanks, unck!

[Jinjelsnaps]

Loved it! Nice work, my friend ;-)

Anybody have a website handy that lists these Hollywierdo's education levels / achievements? That would be pretty funny to see...

[Corin Stormhands]

Viggo Mortensen - Aragorn in Lord of the Rings, also in Hidalgo, out not long ago.

[Clara Lou]

Dianne Lane: Laurie in "Lonesome Dove." Also in "Under the Tuscan Sun," which I thought was much less than advertised. I'm glad I only rented it.

[an amused spectator]

Jack Black - The poor man's Tom Green

That one made me laugh. :-)

[Max7]

to your Post #40: "14. Viggo Mortensen - I have no idea. Sorry."

Viggo Mortenson played Aragorn in Lord of the Rings, etc.

[LisaMalia]

Your post is hilarious! Here's my take on the aforementioned morons:

Martin Sheen - he's so sincere, he left his roots and changed his name on the road to fame.

Leonardo DiCaprio - his pretty boy looks only carried his non talent butt so far. Hope you invested your "Titantic" windfall well, Leo!

Ellen Degeneres - was there to stalk Jody Foster?

David Duchovny - never watched a thing he's been in, and have a feeling I haven't missed much.

Sharon Stone - she's a wack job, who knows. She makes Sean Young look sane.

Meg Ryan - probably trying to get rid of her goofy "When Harry Met Sally" persona. Her acting talent runs the gamut from A-B.

Ashton Kutcher - a little "punk" trying to live up to Bruce Willis. Never gonna happen.

Demi Moore - She gave up Bruce Willis for that?????

Jodie Foster - was there to stalk Ellen Degeneres?

Drew Barrymore - somebody told her it was cool.

Chris Rock - disappointing, but not surprising the way he's been speaking out politically lately. Too bad, he was actually getting some bucks from me when he stuck to comedy.

Jack Black - idiot

Matthew Perry - bored since the Friends gig ended, and looking for some free publicity

Diane Lane - don't know much about her, don't care to

Marisa Tomei - her claim to fame was being George Costanza's fantasy woman. Has-been.

Viggo Mortensen - what a waste of good looks.