At that time I had moved from WV back to Pittsburgh due to my husband's desire to have a divorce which coincided with Dad suffering his debilitating stroke.
I was dealing with where would Dad live? Taking care of paying his bills as he couldn't write anymore and then going back and forth from WV to Pgh. and having to deal with my husband and his family who couldn't understand why I had to tend to my Dad when they thought my sister should carry the whole load.
Course my ex-husband would always threaten divorce every time he got in a snit and when this happened to Dad, I said, "Fine, you want a divorce - go file the necessary papers."
I had been a stay at home mom for his son for seven years and then had 3 big stressers of life on my shoulders to contend with in addition to finding a job for myself in a city I hadn't lived in in 24 years.
The divorce went on for 2 years, I lived in Dad's house because I couldn't afford an apartment. I had only done secretarial and accounting clerical work and couldn't find anything that would pay more than $10.00 per hour and throughout all this, was moving Dad from hospital to rehab to assisted living to trips to the hospital for various ailments, paying his bills, trying to keep up with house, moving him to another assisted living and in 2001 I had close to a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized myself for a week. Doctor said for me to take time off from work for at least 6 months. During 2001 Dad had 2 cataract surgeries (with 6 trips to the eye doctor additionally for this), surgery for dentures - aftertrips to dentist to fit the dentures properly, 3 emergency room trips.
I had little time to cultivate friendships because of the attention I had to give to Dad.
Then he went to the nursing home because his care level was above what assisted living could legally provide. At $4700.00 per month, his savings went out the window and all he has left is the house.
But I haven't been able to keep up with taxes because nursing home demands every red cent of his money.
Suffice to say, I've been contacted by the Allegheny County sheriff and expect to be kicked out of Dad's house shortly.
My sister and her husband are separated - he's a big time drug addict. I've tried to talk with her about us living together but she doesn't want to deal with that now. I make $10.40 an hour and I'm afraid of where I would have to live on my salary in this county.
Anyways, I guess with 20/20 hindsight, I could've done some things differently. Sometimes I feel like a failure that I should've handled things better. Dad has had this house since 1956. He took care of things the way they should be taken care of and I failed him. Believe me when I say that with all I've been through in the past 5 years, had I not had faith and belief in God I would've killed myself by now.
It makes me angry that his school taxes went from around $1300 per year to $2200.00 overnight. That Allegheny taxes went from $300.00 some to over $600.00.
I knew this was inevitable - the county knocking at the door. Oh, well.
Have you checked with the taxing authorities about reduced taxes? In many areas of the country there are reduced rates for seniors and for the disabled. Since he still owns the home, he would qualify for any reduction.
You poor thing!
You've been through a lot and you have my sympathy.
Will sister go in with you for a mobile home?
We just closed on one today. ( Downsizing from the big old house for various reasons) They can be very nice and the newer ones have neat features like sky-lights and fireplaces and spa tubs.
NOT at all a nasty old trailer!
I'll keep you in my prayers!