United Nations Instigation of Hostilities Permission Slip

1 posted on 02/17/2004 8:06:52 AM PST by az4vlad

2 posted on 02/17/2004 8:16:04 AM PST by jigsaw (Liberal Bias is Dishonorable Discharge.)

To: az4vlad; jigsaw

I like the disclaimer at the bottom that reads: "If you doubt this is a parody, contact.."

3 posted on 02/17/2004 8:20:46 AM PST by Darksheare (Thsi tagline manufactured in a fourth world sweatshop. More available for half price, 1/4th quality.)

Thsi tagline manufactured in a fourth world sweatshop. More available for half price, 1/4th quality.

LOL! I immediately recognized this as a foreign-made tagline because of the poor quality of its first word!

4 posted on 02/17/2004 8:25:32 AM PST by jigsaw (Liberal Bias is Dishonorable Discharge.)

5 posted on 02/17/2004 8:28:11 AM PST by Camachee (`)

Uh oh, my tagline manufacturing business has been exposed.
*chuckle*

Tagline has been spotted, must switch it again..
*chuckle*
Nothing much going on here at the moment.
Read the whole permission slip and had that sinking feeling that even though it is a parody, it is all too real.

"Cry 'Hammock!' and let slip the gerbils of war!"

6 posted on 02/17/2004 8:29:19 AM PST by Darksheare (Thsi tagline manufactured in a fourth world sweatshop. More available for half price, 1/4th quality.)

In this case, the reality is the parody, and that's what raises my ire the most about the UN. They're perfectly willing to let Americans and their allies shed blood, but run at the first sight of their own.

I despise the UN and Kofi Annan in particular for the "administrative fees" they took from the Oil for Food program. Those books will NEVER be untangled in what remains of my lifetime. The money passed under the table and enriched filthy administrators at the same time they were berating the US and saying we were responsible for Iraqi children starving. There is a special place in hell for those who perpetrated that flaming hypocrisy.

Now that we have won the war, and the country is beginning to get on its feet, they demand that our interests -- bought with our blood -- be subjugated to their demands.

You know what? Every stinking country in the UN who opposed that war can go bleep up a rope, as far as I'm concerned. The UN is useless. The plum appointments of lawbreakers and tyrants' lackeys to sit at the UN discourse should end. We don't need it.

Get the US out of the UN, and get the UN out of the US!

7 posted on 02/17/2004 8:31:00 AM PST by Judith Anne (Send a message to the Democrat traitors--ROCKEFELLER MUST RESIGN!)

My fav:

Do you need help defending your country?
Yes
No
France

8 posted on 02/17/2004 8:33:22 AM PST by January24th

Agreed!
The UN should be made to pay for their actions though.
Not likely to occur in my lifetime either.
The socialist 'good old boys' club that is the UN likes to say one thing and do another.
It doesn't matter what they do, it's what they say.
And even that doesn't matter if it was said yesterday, what matters is what they say and intend at this point in time.
*I can feel my mind melting while typing this. I'm horrifed that their entire 'thought' process can be summed up in such terms as above.*

9 posted on 02/17/2004 8:36:07 AM PST by Darksheare (Cry "Hammock!" and let slip the gerbils of war!)

My fav:

Would you like the UN to conduct a military operation on your behalf? (seriously)

Yes
No
Only if the US is actually doing the fighting

10 posted on 02/17/2004 8:40:09 AM PST by Camachee (`)

I am absolutely serious when I repeat the slogan:

Get the US out of the UN and get the UN out of the US!

Let France have it. THEY can build the new building which the poor suffering delegates claim they need.

11 posted on 02/17/2004 8:41:18 AM PST by Judith Anne (Send a message to the Democrat traitors--ROCKEFELLER MUST RESIGN!)

12 posted on 02/17/2004 8:43:44 AM PST by Darksheare (Cry "Hammock!" and let slip the gerbils of war!)

After two decades of study and debate, a learned group of international law scholars, human rights activists and renegade priests has discovered the most effective way to end war: require every nation to obtain permission before invading another country. IC is proud to present this draft copy of their proposal...

Instigation of Hostilities Permission Slip

If you have plans to instigate hostilities, you MUST fill out this form in its entirety and return to Kofi Annan, United Nations, New York, NY 10017. You may also fill out this form online, but the UN will not responsible for any deaths or injuries that result if our server is down.

IDENTIFYING INFORMATION

___________________________________________
Name of Applicant

___________________________________________
Date

Are you currently under attack?
Yes
No

You may qualify for expedited service if you are currently under attack. Please be sure you are current on your annual dues.

Do you need help defending your country?
Yes
No
France

Is there massive genocide in your country of which the UN is unaware?
Yes
No

Have you ever voted for the state of Israel in the General Assembly?
Yes
No
Only on unimportant issues

If Yes, please attach a separate form with detailed explanation.

How often do you vote with the United States in the General Assembly?
less than 10% of the time
10% or more

Your answer to this question may affect the availability of expedited service for your application.

Are you currently the subject of UN sanctions?
Yes
No
Unsure

Please secure the signatures of these five members of the Security Council before you take any military action (all signatures must be in black ink):

___________________________________________
George W. Bush, President, United States

___________________________________________
Tony Blair, Prime Minister, Great Britain

___________________________________________
Jacques Chirac, Prime Minister, France

___________________________________________
Hu Jintao, President, China

___________________________________________
Vladimir Putin, President, Russia

*We have copies of these signatures so don't try any foolish stuff.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Would you like the UN to conduct a military operation on your behalf? (seriously)
Yes
No
Only if the US is actually doing the fighting

Check here if your application has been pending over a year without a response.
Yes
No

You may qualify for expedited service if your application has been pending for over a year (non-US applicants only).

Check one for expedited service.
The US is the biggest threat to world peace.
The US is imperialist.
Israel is a fascist state.

Thank you for complying with international law. We will process your application in the order in which it was received.

___________________________

Hope you don't mind my posting this in full -- for posterity....

"Thou Shalt Not Unnecessarily Excerpt" -- FReeper 11th Commandment

- ConservativeStLouisGuy

14 posted on 02/18/2004 8:35:05 AM PST by ConservativeStLouisGuy (transplanted St Louisan living in Canada, eh!)

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