[Ragtime Cowgirl]

I'm an NCO in the USAF (deployed to Iraq) and wanted to pass on a few hints for those family members who's soldiers, airmen, marines, seamen will be rotating out of the AOR as the major rotation has started. This time of transition will not be picture perfect or easy for most, as everyone over here changes a bit, as they have to. If you could pass these homecoming tips on, I'd appreciate it.

 

 

 

 

Sleeping Soldiers

 

Let sleeping soldiers lie,
men who, while they snore and sigh,
dream about you
safe and warm
behind their armor and guns.

Let sleeping soldiers lie,
men who, as they say goodbye,
will always pack their gear and go
to where the danger runs.

Training hard, and laughing harder,
partaking of life's full larder,
a soldiers' lot is all for those
who think the cost is cheap.

Eager hearts, whose boldness longing,
with their fellowship belonging,
shoulder arms to hold your freedom
for such, never weep!

For gladly marching, to dreadful daring,
any price or burden bearing,
keeping such as you in safety,
loved ones wait to welcome home,

Heroes' triumph, victory gallant,
accolades for virtuous talent,
our best reward, to see you smiling,
stronger love than song or poem.

~ an original poem by JSR  "Old Sarge"

(c) 02/08/2004

FR Canteen

 

 

[McGavin999]

They will come home to so much love that I'm sure it's going to stun them. That will help a lot. I wish all the families much joy and understanding.

[DonQ]

It is of utmost importance to show that you are unconditionally glad they're home (if they weren't wounded, be "especially" glad for that; if they were wounded then "especially" glad that they suffered a [minor] setback so you could have them back alive) ... without any talk of heroics or such.

A great many soldiers, through no act of their own, were far from the fighting and might feel ashamed or even guilty that they didn't endure the same risks or accomplish the same victories that frontliners did. Perhaps a few of them made a decision to avoid confronting the enemy and now feel particular regret or shame over that decision. Do not pick at that emotional scab by asking or suggesting that they spin yarns of their courage in combat, etc. Let them make the first move about telling whatever stories they want to tell.

[robowombat]

The part about not being spooked if the returning GI seems to be quiet and withdrawn certainly hits home. I was in no sense a combat arms hero but when I return from RVN in July 69 I had lost about 50 Lbs from having almost continuose upper resapiratory tract infections for six/seven months. I also was so happy to be in a calm materially pleasant environment that I sat for hours reading or just unwinding without speaking to anyone. The upshot was my parents put the weight loss and the 'withdran personality' together with the scare propaganda they had absorbed from the lamestream media about Viet-Nam GI's being drugged out crazies that they were seriously freightened of me and tried to get me to visit their physician for 'a checkup'. I probed a bit and found out why. I was a bit ungracious about turning this opportunity down and they suspected that I was a secret druggie for some time. One other fine memory of how sour returning from that conflict could be. I hope similar attitudes are not being generated by the lying media once more.

[taxcontrol]

When I travel on business, I try to look for a uniformed military member at the airports. I approach them, shake their hands and thank them for their service.

I would ask others to do the same if possible.

[StarCMC]

Thanks for this RC -- expecting to welcome home my brother in a couple of months so I copied all this info and emailed to my entire family. HUGS!!!

[serurier]

Thank you very much , Ragtime Cowgirl , Thank you send this message to me .

[VOA]

bump

[Brad’s Gramma]

How wonderful of you to do this. Thank you!

[VOA]

As Marine Captain Dale Dye would advise on his radio show last year:
"Sit and listen. Listen some more. Give 'em all the time and latitude to get it all out."

[StarCMC]

I copied this entire thread and pasted to an email to the members of my family -- my brother is due back in the next 2 months or so. My sister-in-law had some very interesting responses to it, and I wanted to share. We all think a lot about the soldier who's been away -- and well we should. Their sacrifice is to be appreciated and applauded. But those left at home are OFTEN forgotten, and their sacrifices have been just as signifigant -- dealing with all sorts of issues on their own without the present support of a spouse they are left to carry on. And for those, like my sister-in-law who have limited family involvement due to the fact that they live about 5 hours away from us, it's even harder. I salute the spouses who have had to hold it together alone -- God bless you all! You are heroes, too!

Here's her email:

By this same token, those returning should know that the earth did rotate while they were gone. Their children's likes and dislikes are not the same, period. Anyone away for over a year can not expect those they worked with before to not ask questions or to be at the same level of compency (or lack thereof) that they were when the soldier left.Loyalties, clients and the like have had to compensate for the soldier not being there for so long. They can not (in most cases) just pick up where they left off. They will also have to understand that the "novelty" of their return, sadly will dissipate quickly for everyone but them. Anger, resentment, confusion may be their intial reaction but they need to realize 99% of the people they will see daily upon return have not been in their shoes for the past many months. They can not expect an inherent understanding or full comprehension of how things can change a person on the inside. People will expect them to be up and running when they hit American soil. Some will realize that it takes longer. Most don't think about how long it will take. The far reaching effects can be daunting but does that mean the soldier will be "cut some slack" for several months? Probably not. Try weeks. They are back in the capitalist's homeland. Competition reigns supreme.

Family is not going to remember every detail over the past year to try to get the soldier "caught up" Nor should it be expected. Where the soldier may need to keep some things to themselves, understand others too will need the same understanding. Chances are that your loved ones cried alone more than you would guess. They prayed for strength to do things they knew had to be done. They had to overcome their own inner battles with no one else to discuss it with. Yes we are excited. Yes we want our family member out of harm's way and back in our arms. Your families' have been warriors of the heart. That also changes people. Many have struggled with intangibles. Many have had to do things they never expected to do in their lives or maybe never expected to do alone. They too have been changed and would like to be appreciated for what they were able to accomplish. Not harrassed for what they didn't. Things come easily for some and hard for others. That is why we try to marry someone who balances us out. Just because we were able to have managed something while the soldier was gone doesn't mean we still want to do so later. Or perhaps they may find that their partner really was better at getting bills out on time and organizing schedules. Enjoy that. Negotiate the things neither of you like to do. Don't just do the fun stuff, like giving the kids a bath or reading them stories or taking them to the park etc. The spouse left behind has had to be the big bad wolf and the nuturer all in one. I'm guessing a little break from that would help too. Love and support goes both ways.

Remember that you chose to be a member of the Armed Forces. You were not drafted into something you never would have done otherwise. Your kids, parents, siblings, signifigant others probably were. Think about it.

I read this and it sounds so harsh. I have struggled for over a week as to wether I should respond with this viewpoint from the other side of the looking glass. I'm afraid our guys/gals are not going to get the proper preparation for this type of reality. Yes the basics of put your gun down, change clothes and exit the gates will surely be reviewed. I just think that perhaps the viewpoint put forward in Support Group tapes was a bit lop-sided. I also wonder how many soldiers read the material, watched the videos and listened to the CDs on the subject. Incomplete as it was, it is a start. Remember they have been a team of sameness for a year or so. Now they come back and the world goes on. Now their "home team" will be a true shuffle of personalities. I know we have appreciated them and their efforts. I just hope they remember that it goes both ways.

I just hope that it does not appear that I am an ingrate. I don't think that it is just the soldier but society that has neglected the reality of the ripple effect on families, friends, employers and co-workers.

[fatima]

Ragtime Cowgirl,I saw most of this on Karen's visit in Dec.

[js1138]

And beware of democrats. They do not care that you arrested one of the world's major mass murderers. You are in the way of their regaining power, and they will spit on you.