Dr. Laura Schlessinger: 'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'

WorldNetDaily.com ^ | Tuesday, January 6, 2004 | Dr. Laura Schlessinger

[Marie]

I couldn't scan it all in because I'd marked up the pages so liberally! LOL.

Careful with your use of the "L" word 'round here, Quix! ;-)

My best books I lend out frequently and I always encourage my friends to read them with highlighters and pens in hand. I have a few that have been thoughtfully marked up by no less than 5 people. I treasure those books!

[Quix]

I feel the same about the books.

Thanks.

[Marie]

Do what my husband does. NEVER buy her flowers. After a few years she'll start to get irritated about it. When you do surprise her with flowers, walk in, shove them into her chest (all the while blushing furiously) and peck her roughly on the cheek. Slap her on the butt and say (with a grin and a wink) that'll shut cha up for a few months!" Then strut away with a very pleased-with-yourself grin. She'll be so shocked to get the flowers and amused by your presentation that all she'll be able to think is, "That man is so adorable!!" (It worked! I didn't start complaining again for about four years.)

[Marie]

I wouldn't mind. A few months ago my husband had forbid my son from getting into his tools and put a lock on the shed. My son went out with a screwdriver and took the shed door off the hinges. Drill in the dirt Hammer in the pool. My husband was in a trembling, red-faced, bellowing rage and I knew that he had lost it. I grabbed a hunk of ham and held it out to him. I calmly said, "You need to cool down. Go sit down." He took the meat and my son lived to terrorize his father on another day. Since then, I've tried it a few more times with the same results.

Yes, Laz needs some meat. And so does the poor bloke who's tag he stole. :-)

[Jane G]

As I read these posts and people's frustration, the first thing to consider and rule out is hormone production. Is is adequate? If not, what is impairing it? Age of the patient? Food intake? Health? Genetics?, Stress?, Meds?, etc. Why am I picking on hormones? Because they are tiny messengers and you could consider, in the hierarchy of the body, the top in importance. Lets continue. When a couple start to complain, for example, about their sex life, it is so easy to test their libido. To be aroused, or ready to be aroused, hormonally speaking, certain things need to be on board or not be on board in their body. Correct testing will determine this, correct method of delivery, correct amount, and correct type of hormone supplementation will easily correct this horrendous frustration that couples feel.
Testosterone supplementation for the aging couple, in men and women, will start to work within an hour or two - to several days depending on how depleted the cells in the body were. Testosterone is what gives us our raging sex drive. It is imperative to have a healthy, screaming sex drive at any age BUT especially as we get older! Like building a house you start with the foundation - the body first and have it checked out thoroughly, then of course go from there.

[SaveTheChief]

Once again, I appreciate your well-worded and thoughful reply to my question. Once again, it gives insight into how women think.

Now if I could trouble you with one more query...

What IF a man were to buy flowers from a nice flower shop each and every time, spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that is going to die in a few days anyway, just to show his affection and make this effort to show his woman that she is very special to him? Will a woman get tired of the same old one hundred dollar flowers and eventually start analyzing and questioning in the same manner you described anyway?

If so, then isn't it a case of being damned if you do or don't?

[JusPasenThru]

Your post number reflects the sign of the Beast.

Just thought I'd toss that in there.

Now, back to the discussion....

[SaveTheChief]

You must be a very bored individual.

Just thought I would toss that in there.

[CajunConservative]

I am very familiar with the role of hormones in one's day to day life. Since mine were whacked out pretty good it wasn't a pretty picture. However, I was able to correct the imbalance through diet and supplementats alone. I am on no medications or artificial hormones at all. I know all about the testosterone being whacked out, I had a little bit too much and well I understand the effects it can have.

I see people behaving badly and eating horrible junk and want to tell them life can be better. You can feel good and when you feel good you tend to treat others with respect and the ones you love the most you give them your best. When you physically feel like crap then you tend to take it out on others and that is usually the ones you love most because they are around you all day.

Why do you think vegetarians are always in a crappy funk?

[Jane G]

Glad to hear you are doing better!!!Yeah, vegetarians are starving to death. Define too much in regards to your testosterone.

[CajunConservative]

you have freepmail

[JusPasenThru]

Seriously bored. Too much time on my hands. Like many (most?) FReepers.

[SarahW]

Damned if you do or damned if you don't?

Almost! (see also: #574 :)

Too much expensive gifting is a warning sign to the sadder-but-wiser girl. (Some perfectly-happy-but-also-wise girls get warned by their mothers, or are simply bright enough to be careful.)

Will a woman get tired of the same old one hundred dollar flowers and eventually start analyzing and questioning in the same manner I described? Well, she might like the flowers well enough, but she might start wondering about WHAT THEY MEAN.

If all you ever do for her is give her flowers, its going to MEAN something... :)

If they become a pattern... she will do what women do, and overlay the pattern on the context... and she will put her mind to the task.

You will come out ahead if the context is of a smooth-sailing relationship, where gift giving hasn't gotten stale, and where the flowers haven't come to form a strong association with something negative, e.g., become a form of apology for some misdeed, or reflective of guilt feelings for something one should feel guilty about.

She will think such flowers are a poor substitute for
being a good boyfriend/husband, and that perhaps you are trying to get one over on her...


Ask my advice? Vary the pace; buy her a little something and it will generally be received with glee. If you buy her a "little something" of the same thing (and never the best) all the time, and she won't like it as much.

Buy her the best too soon and too often, and she will get suspicious.

Buy her the best only when you do wrong, and she will come to hate it.

Don't give at a pace that can't realistically be kept up (e.g., a rose every time you meet) - it will be crushing the first time you come empty-handed ('cause that will MEAN something.)


A little posey now and then, peppered with a luxurious SOMETHING now and then... now that would suit most women well.

That would MEAN you are always thinking of her, and that you think she's worth some work once in a while. :)

[SaveTheChief]

OK, well now I'm dizzy. Thanks! LOL

[SarahW]

Funny you should say that, I made myself dizzy trying to answer you.

I'm converting to cavegirl. Mmmmm. Flower pretty. Man bring flower, man good. :)

[Axenolith]

10 Stupid things... For men. You could solve your own question with a trip to Amazon.com...

[Axenolith]

29A

[dubyagee]

Women want the relationship to have meaning, men just want the sex.

That is one of the hardest things about this whole situation. Let's say I 'give all' again...which is a very difficult thing for anyone to do. What's to keep him from taking the sex that is offered next time.

I cannot fathom that about men. If it's just sex, why marry at all? Why commit yourself to someone and promise to be faithful when all you really want is to get laid? Argh! (Not you, btw, just in general. ; *))

[dubyagee]

You're conversation is hysterical...and hits home quite a bit.

When my husband and I first got married, he would bring me home 'convenience store' roses all the time. Eventually, of course, I tired of them and would just murmur 'thanks' and stick them wherever. Then I stopped getting any flowers at all.

Years later, I received some more expensive flowers at work after mentioning that all the other girls got flowers. Well, of course they didn't mean as much because I had to put the idea in his head...

Maybe the key is to act from the heart...but definitely ACT! 8 * )

[hosepipe]

What a girl.. Laura.... a blessing to both women and men...