Replies

I have seen joint custody work well, and I have seen it be a disaster, with the children having no sense of permanence with either parent. What you end up with is the perpetual involvement of the state and 2 or more families with their lives completely under their control, which, as we should know from any number of other situations by now, isn't looking out for any body's interests BUT the state's.

If I am not mistaken, I think it was Ted Nugent who had a great idea on the custody issue. The kids got the house and the parents had to be the ones moving in and out for joint custody. IOW, the kids need for stability and permanence was more important to them. I think that is a great idea.

I had a friend who had joint custody and it was literally 50/50 the kids spent half the week at dad's and the other half at mom's, they lived in the same school district. The only thing was the poor kids were basket cases. They were very angry and wild. Of course both boys were put on ritalin b/c they were "ADHD", they were 3 and 5 at the time. Maybe their behaviors were their only means of communicating the chaos in their lives because they did not have the verbal skills to express their feelings?? Could this possibly the reason so many kids are "ADHD"??

They never had the time to enjoy their homes because before you knew it it was time to pack up and move. The father was the better parent and should have received sole custody with liberal visitation imo.

I have seen such situations as well, and rarely would I say that the interests of the children was served by dividing them up like that. I like the idea of the parents being the ones to move in or out. Of course, people move families as well, so it may not always be practical, but a good idea when doable. After all, if we would return to placing a high value on the family as a society, we would automatically be shed of a lot of these issues, not to mention the state's involvement in personal matters.

I know one couple who does share the house, even though they are divorced. He lives in the adjoining apartment, and she and the kids are in the main part of the house. They are both active participants in their children's lives. I give him a ton of credit, he has put forward great effort, even moved to rejoin his kids in their new home state. An excellent example.