Hildy, if the VD's are players, as described above, then they are either "wired" into the community, or they are naive. They do not strike me as the later. Most major league dealers know their safe zones, and if the VD's were picking up strays for their calistenics, as often as reported, then they would have shared their "stash" with potential informants. If they were not worried about such "problems" then maybe they were high enough up in the San Diego food chain, to not worry about, shall we say, legal entanglements!
Again, the "mid-priced" house you descibe is going to require in mortgage, and upkeep a minimum of $50,000 annually. The little "stay-home" Mom requires too much high octane entertainment to be a pay check to pay check coupon clipper!! IMHO!
It appears Brenda is the "adventurous" half of the couple.