Ummm, perhaps the Baptism that really counts has nothing to do with water. Perhaps the water is symbolic as Peter points out.
John 3:5 Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit."
This isn't even referring to Baptism at all. This is talking about regeneration by the Holy Spirit, which must happen before one believes. You have fallen in the same error about which Jesus chides Nicodemus.
Acts 22:16 And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.'
Considering your other errors, I don't expect you to understand what this is saying.
Once again, another bible verse doesn't mean what it says. You can argue with the bible all you like. I will take the bible. If Peter was talking about a wholly spiritual thing, there would be no reason to mention dirt, which is removed by water.
John 3:5 Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit."
This isn't even referring to Baptism at all. This is talking about regeneration by the Holy Spirit, which must happen before one believes. You have fallen in the same error about which Jesus chides Nicodemus.
And again! Jesus mentions the Spirit, and water. To say Jesus didn't mean water when He said it is no less silly than saying He didn't mean the Spirit when He said it. Nicodemus missed both entirely because he got hung up on "born."
Acts 22:16 And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.'
Considering your other errors, I don't expect you to understand what this is saying.
And again! It seems my greatest "error" is believing the bible.
The bible is full of symbols and symbolic acts. The entire Law of Moses was a symbol to teach people about Christ, and people were executed for breaking it.
Just because an act is symbolic of a greater truth does not free you from doing it. The council of Jerusalem in Acts forbade the eating of blood. That is a prohibition based on symbolism. So is the prohibition against eating food sacrificed to idols. Paul deals with this error when he tells the Corinthians that even though they know an idol is nothing, they are not to eat meat they know was sacrificed to idols.
Peter just points out that baptism is not simply taking a bath. Paul tells us of one consequence of baptism in Galatians 3:27 : "for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. "
Paul explains the rich symbolism of baptism in Romans 6:4: "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."