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It's Great to be a Man!
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Posted on 02/08/2002 11:16:42 AM PST by Cagey
It's Great To Be A Man
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the darn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
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To: Cagey
all true except the garage. its packed so high with girl stuff that it has never, never had a car parked in it.
To: RedBloodedAmerican; riley1992
I keep forgetting you are a she. Maybe you could ask her to always post in pink.
To: riley1992
Har!
To: Ward Smythe
Thats a good idea. And also she could end her comments with
Can I fetch you a beer, bigboy?
To: g'nad
Egads! You mean those weren't caused by UFO landings?
Comment #26 Removed by Moderator
To: RedBloodedAmerican
Can I fetch you a beer, bigboy?And after I bring your father his beer will I have to get you a sippy cup of Kool-Aid, too?
To: Savage Beast
Animal House is a liberal movie. The Republican fraternity and sorority members are presented as racist, elitist villians, while the unkempt, drunk liberals are presented as heros. Time-tested institutions and authority at the college is trashed by the liberal Delta House members. this is the antithesis of Conservatism. The Dean's wife cheats on him like Clinton, but this scene is presented as funny. The military ROTC is also lampooned in this movie. Many of the real Delta House members that the movie was based on went on to become 60's radicals,drug users and limosine liberals. John Belushi was a notorious coke head(like Clinton)and socialist. How can this sorid example of ultra-liberal culture be your favorite movie? Please explain how this movie reflects conservative values.
28
posted on
02/08/2002 11:48:22 AM PST
by
Drfate72
To: otterpond;riley1992
LOL Otterpond. Riley's list will make this one look miniscule I'm sure.
29
posted on
02/08/2002 11:48:22 AM PST
by
Cagey
To: Drfate72
Wow!
30
posted on
02/08/2002 11:49:50 AM PST
by
Cagey
To: riley1992
Sippy cup? Only if it is the Teddy Bear one.
To: Drfate72
Please explain how this movie reflects conservative values.It doesn't, it's just fun. Now go back to sleep.
To: Drfate72
Maybe the ability to separate fact from fiction helps. It's a movie. The trouble with some is they think life is a movie. Maybe that is why Hollywood adores the Clintons so much; they can't differentiate between the two.
To: Billthedrill
Jus' tryin' to lure the little green bastards into range...me-n-Cletus is out fer the bounty...
34
posted on
02/08/2002 11:54:13 AM PST
by
g'nad
To: Cagey
One mood, ALL the darn time. LOL. The writer never met my ex! He made PMS look tame.
To: Cagey
And insects and rodents do not pose a mortal threat to your very existence.
To: Cagey
Dr. Strangelove is one of the best and most accurate portrayals of those in high government office I have ever seen. I have heard it compared to the events in Washington after Regean was shot. Think I'll go rent it again.
To: Drfate72
How can this sorid example of ultra-liberal culture be your favorite movie? Please explain how this movie reflects conservative values.
. . . and how does sitting in judgement of others tastes and lighthearted comments on a Friday reflect conservative values? or just yours!
38
posted on
02/08/2002 11:57:26 AM PST
by
w_over_w
To: SeeRushtoldU_so;WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Chime in Texasgirl. I can't wait! LOL
39
posted on
02/08/2002 11:57:41 AM PST
by
Cagey
To: Drfate72
My nephew who had been a straight-A student in high school, had just started college at Old Dominion. He saw this movie, and thought that this is how you were supposed to act.
He flunked out in his first semester, and it took him three years to get back on track. My brother was ready to kill him.
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