Osama bin Laden Bought Fake Nukes from Russian Mafyia

Paul Harvey ^ | 02/04/2002 | Paul Harvey

[ex-Texan]

Just heard Paul Harvey's morning broadcast and he is reporting that U.S. Special Forces have found fake Russian nukes hidden in Afghanistan. Each of these weapons was an exact replica or a 'working model' of Russian WMD .... and each had been smeared heavily with radioactive waste materials.

The nukes were apparently so radioactive that they may have contaminated everyone who came into contact with them.

What is the going price for stolen nukes on the black market today?

[veryconernedamerican]

too bad they weren't real and on a remote.

[GOPJ]

Not only do the Russians bankrupt the Osama pigs, but they build up terrorist hopes while filling filthy caves with radioactive death. That's a lot of bang for the buck.

Osama's last video looked like his blood had turned to bleach, can it get any better?

[ex-Texan]

'Mafyia' is a spelling meant with pointed sarcasm and is often used when referring to the KGB mob operating worldwide.

[ghoti]

Any of various similar criminal organizations, especially when dominated by members of the same nationality. often mafia. Informal. A tightly knit group of trusted associates, as of a political leader: “[He] is one of the personal mafia that [the chancellor] brought with him to Bonn” (Christian Science Monitor).

[redhead]

Bump!

[Destructor]

This should make tracking OBL down a lot easier. Just use a Geiger Counter!

[weikel]

Of course they were fake no (non-muslim) mobster would sell real nukes to this a******.

[Redcloak]

"Fake nukes"? BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!! Osama bin Conned!

[steve-b]

...rather the cheap plaid sport coat of a used car salesman.

Ya know, it's too bad Clinton didn't try selling Osama phony nukes -- for once, he could have used his great powers of deception for good instead of evil.

[pabianice]

Working surplus Geiger counters were available from TapCo as a novelty for $ 49. I bought one as a gag about a month before 9-11. Now it's handy to have.

[Landru]

"...for once, he could have used his great powers of deception for good instead of evil."

{G}

...next. ;^)

[VaBthang4]

***Russian Organized Crime Bump***

[mvonfr]

The nukes were apparently so radioactive that they may have contaminated everyone who came into contact with them

Trying to connect the dots.... Any connection to the health problems he seem to be having? Does radioactive exposure affect kidneys? Or brain?

[JoeFromSidney]

Osama bin Laden Bought Fake Nukes from Russian Mafyia

I believe "Mafia" is the correct spelling

"Mafia" is the correct Italian spelling. "Mafiya" is the correct transliteration of the Russian spelling.

[Rain-maker]

A classic...ROFLMAO

[TheMole]

I would love for this story to be true, but I'm a bit skeptical about Paul Harvey's fact-checking. The story is plausible, mind you - Russian mobsters may be sleazy corrupt scum but they're not stupid, and they definitely have no sympathy for Muslim terrorists.

One part of the story does strike me us unlikely, and that is the use of the word "contaminated" to describe people who have been near the fake bombs. People would have been irradiated by radioactive waste smeared on the bombs, but unless they got the radioactive material into their own bodies somehow, they would not be contaminated.

[archy]

Osama bin Laden Bought Fake Nukes from Russian Mafyia

I believe "Mafia" is the correct spelling

"Mafia" is the correct Italian spelling. "Mafiya" is the correct transliteration of the Russian spelling.

That's very close, though certainly any translation from Italian to English to Russian Cyrillics back to English is going to lose something in the spelling. You'll also see *Mafyia* as a phonetic spelling from the approximate Russian pronounciation as well.

Similarly the term *Biznezz* for *buisness* will be heard in the same circles....

-archy-/-

[bvw]

LOL! Yessireee, them thar islamic wonder boys, theyse shur buyed demselves one *PIG* IN A POKE!

Hard to buy sum'in ya all can't as try first!

[GOPJ]

bump