Buddy Death Report Raises More Questions Than It Answers

1-4-02 | Mia T

[Mia T]

Buddy Death Report Raises More Questions Than It Answers

By MIA T

 

 

HAPPAQUA, N.Y., Jan. 4 -- The clinton-PR-machine-generated report of the death of Buddy, the impeached ex-president's chocolate Labrador, raises more questions than it answers. The report states: "Buddy playfully took after a contractor leaving the Clinton home about noon and was struck by a sport utility vehicle on Route 117 at the bottom of Old House Lane...Neither Mr. Clinton nor Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton were [sic] home at the time. The only comment they will make on the matter is by way of a statement issued by Mrs. Clinton's office: 'My best memory is that I did not have any involvement in that death.'"

The report fails to explain how Buddy was able to wrest from the strong arm of the Secret Service and negotiate the multimillion-dollar, taxpayer-financed retrofits that were installed to make the poorly located suburban house safe for the universally despised former first couple. The report also fails to include a timeline detailing the whereabouts of the clintons on the day of the death. The clinton report's indictment of a sport utility vehicle (SUV) has caused incipient whispers of a vast left-wing conspiracy and the ever-expanding list of dead adverse clinton witnesses to fill the Senate cloakroom.

 

 

Buddy was a 1997 'gift' from a 'benefactor' who subscribed to the notion: "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog," particularly sage advice for a DC couple forever mired in scandal and antipathy. Whether Buddy also subscribed to that notion was questioned as recently as last January when he entangled himself in the impeached ex-president's legs, dropping clinton to the pavement; clinton insisted at the time that there was no malevolence involved, that they were simply playing a game of fetch. clinton refused to say who was doing the fetching. (see BILL & HILL & BUDDY & HELEN, Helen Thomas Syndrome: THE SYMPTOMS )

 

 

The White House reported that the clintons' first First Pet, Socks, a cat, "greeted the canine acquisition with a hiss previously reserved only for Ken Starr." Because Buddy remained Socks' nemesis throughout the clinton dog days, Socks was eventually exiled to Virginia, to the suburban home of Betty Currie, former clinton subornee and sex scheduler. At the time, clinton observed: "I made more progress in the Middle East than I did between Socks and Buddy." Retrospectively, it is clear that clinton's characterization was incorrect.

 

 

Buddy web sites quickly exploded in cyberspace. (Socks web sites, too, he would add.) Mrs. clinton, a long-time adherent of synergistic exploitation, "authored" an instant book about three groups favored for exploitation by the clintons: dogs, cats and children. "Dear Socks, Dear Buddy: Kids' Letters to the First Pets" was published by the clintons' personal agitprop-and-money-laundering machine, Simon & Schuster. (see Is hillary clinton's $8M "book advance" a Peter-Principle artifact?)

Although Chappaqua locals share the national repugnance for the clintons, their feelings never spilled over to Buddy. "The big highlight for people was, 'I just saw Buddy,' never mind Mr. and Mrs. Clinton," said Christine Meyer, owner of Wags and Whiskers here.

[untenured]

FYI.

[backhoe]

I liked the "Rapist Locator," altho another nice touch was this:

was published by the clintons' personal agitprop-and-money-laundering machine, Simon & Schuster

[bigjoesaddle]

Just like I believe Clinton sent himself Botulisim (sp??), I believe the Clintons killed Buddy.

[Xenalyte]

It was a "revenge hit" engineered by the "homies" of Kathleen Willey's cats.

The path of the righteous dog is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil cats. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the canines through the valley of catness, for he is truly his littermate's keeper and the finder of lost pups. And the feline will strike down on thee with great vengence and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is The Cat when I lay my vengence upon thee.

(With apologies to God and Tarantino.)

[Leisler]

Because everyone's happy O'Ron the butler caught one to the head.

[christine]

good one, mia. you have great wit. i especially like the inclusion of the 'rapist locator'. too funny :)

[Leisler]

Where is the other Buddy, Buddy Young? Did Buddy do Buddy?

[Mr. K]

ACTUALLY READ THE ARTICLE PEOPLE - this is SATIRE

[BibChr]

For God's sake, get a life.

For heaven's sake, get a sense of humor.

And over yourself!

Dan

[MotleyGirl70]

Too bad Harold Ickes, James Carville and Paul Bagala weren't walking Buddy; and they were the ones that were hit instead Buddy.

[AKA Elena]

Another very clever "pun" read.

Also another example of the expendability of everything the family clinton touches.

He probably followed the construction man because he got 30 seconds of attention from him.

[AKA Elena]

very clever!

[be-baw]

a statement issued by Mrs. Clinton's office: 'My best memory is that I did not have any involvement in that death.'"

Obviously Mrs. C is trying to maintain her political viability with the animal rights crowd...hehehe

First Buddy thread I've read, Mia. Thanks for the chuckles.

[Teacup]

You crack me up! Another good thread Mia, thanks for the humor. I enjoy humor on Free Republic. Poor Buddy and Zeke. Both died the same way. Word to any dog out there: "Avoid the Clinton's!"

[BibChr]

He probably followed the construction man because he got 30 seconds of attention from him.

Youch! Sad, but too possible!

Dan

[Teacup]

a statement issued by Mrs. Clinton's office: 'My best memory is that I did not have any involvement in that death.'"

Perhaps they should have said.

In a statement issued by Mrs. Clinton's office: "I don't recall anyone named Buddy. My mind is Jello."

[TLBSHOW]

SO we ended the year with Chelsea drunk and start the year with Buddy Dead. Both Dogs if you ask me!

[Churchillspirit]

Sorry - I am confused.

Is Buddy really dead, or should this have been posted on a 'humor' thread?

[dirtboy]

Buddy is really dead - he got hit by a car a couple of days ago.