New Calvinist Escape Room Has Participants Do Nothing While They Wait For Someone To Let Them Out

The Babylon Bee ^ | November 30, 2021 | Staff

[HKMk23]

Christian entertainment company 4HisGlory Amusements has announced an exciting new escape room experience based on Calvinist theology. Participants will be entirely unable to do anything to escape the room and instead must wait for an actor playing Jesus to unlock the door and let them out.

[HKMk23]

On-point hilarity from The Bee.

These guys are PRICELESS!

[AAABEST]

lol

[rlmorel]

I agree...ya gotta admit, the world today is fertile ground for them...

[Still Thinking]

LOL, hilarious!

[Truthsearcher]

“You must simply wait for Jesus to unlock the door and call you out.”

That doesn’t seem to be true to the Calvinist position, answering the call and walking out is too much work. They should wait until Jesus unlock the door and carry them out.

[HKMk23]

Oh, I think there are enough “Calvinist positions” (plural) to support multiple Escape Rooms, all having varied exit strategies.

[Campion]

The truly extreme hyper-Calvinists would say that, if you were meant to get out of the room, you wouldn’t be there in the first place.

[LuigiBonnafini]

Yet another reason I am an Arminian.

[metmom]

That’s for sure.

[HKMk23]

Calvin. Arminius.

Two difficult approaches to one thorny conundrum:
That not everyone is saved.

Calvin says the trouble is with The Cross; that, since everyone isn’t saved, The Cross must not be effective for “the world.”

Arminius says the trouble is man’s faith; that, since everyone isn’t saved, The Cross can only be effective to those who believe.

Of the two, I’d far rather fault man’s weak faith than God’s work at the Cross of Christ, but both perspectives suffer in that they diminish the power of The Cross. In that regard, I like neither.

But I note that St. Paul told the Corinthians that “God was, in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself; not holding men’s trespasses against them.” (2 Cor. 5:18)

Well, this is not “salvation” being described, here, but FORGIVENESS; that God The Father did, indeed, upon His Personal execution of God The Son at Calvary (ref. Is. 53:10), thoroughly effect forgiveness for all men of all things for all time; that the work of The Cross was, and is, entirely effective.

Whether or not everyone is saved, then, is no commentary on the effectiveness of The Cross; it is a commentary on the REPENTANCE of man in the face of the total effectiveness of The Cross. For, since The Cross wrought forgiveness, for all of all for all time, then being saved doesn’t lie in asking to be forgiven, for that is over and done; but, as St. Peter preached at Pentecost, in faith answering that exhibition of magnanimous forgiveness with wholesale REPENTANCE (Acts 2:38).

So, to both Calvin and Arminius: the total forgiveness wrought upon The Cross is thoroughly effective for “the world” for all time, whether or not everyone is saved or not, whether you believe or not, whether you repent or not.

That Forgiveness is a Gold Key that hangs on the wall INSIDE the “Escape Room,” and ANYONE who, with all the Bibles and theology books in that room, comes to believe that key will work can, repenting of their past unbelief, take that key in hand, unlock the Escape Room door from the inside, and walk free into the arms of Jesus in Salvation and newness of life.