I lost my husband many years ago and though initially I believed I should perhaps meet someone and marry again when the opportunities for those relationships to move further I decided I didn’t want to be married again each time.
What I really ‘needed’ to do was develope and ‘learn how’ to do a different lifestyle then the one I had grown accustomed to. Gain some new interests and try new things I’d often thought about but never did on my own....and find the courage to walk into a room of people solo without feeling like third thumb.
I remember my first day trip driving out on a two lane road with corn fields on both sides of the road and not another vehicle on the road for miles. The sky was a brillant blue as it seemingly touched the tips of the trees along the way....with all windows down and my hair flapping in the wind... it was a wonderful sense of God and I enjoying the ride, a sense of freedom and all-one-ness with Him. It left such an impression I do it often now.
I think that is the secret of being alone and enjoying ones own company...recognizing that you clearly are not alone when you might not want to be....and equally so when you do.
I recall my son saying to me ...”Mom, you talk about the Lord like he’s standing right next to you.”... So I would guess He even lets others know I’m not alone!
I never felt I was “enduring” being on my own...rather “What now or next” would be whispered to the Lord. Believing HE does have our times in His hands it was an easy thing to just verbalize to Him what I might have otherwise done with my husband......especially after the time I read in the scripture...”Thy maker is thy husbandman”. And He certainly could provide and help me at every second of every day and night....and knew my thoughts even before I did!
You learn to go shopping for groceries at mid-night when the “linely bug bites”....and find it’s fun! Or eating dessert before a meal...making all these changes to do what you want regardless of the norm. And you even learn how to cook a great meal for one!...or nto at all!
I think that it is much harder for men to be alone though....I’ve spoken with many who lost their wives and their pain does not heal quickly. Just as I think a man loves a woman differently then a woman does a man....He seems to be a better man when he has a woman to love and protect.
I enjoy my “single” life and the Lord knows the door is open otherwise if he determines so. It’s ok either way He wants. But I’m glad you found someone for yourself....no doubt she is too!
I agree; to be honest, being alone is a time to make choices and grow in ways that we don’t when we are attached. I’m single and chaste for a full decade now and I realize that if I had not stayed single and chaste I would not have matured and learned the lessons that I’ve needed to learn.
I always thought marriage will fix everything. Well no it doesn't.
Married or not, we were born alone and we shall die alone, in the sense that we are a singular person. Yet we know because of Jesus Christ and all the Saints we are never truly alone. God is with us always if we let Him in.
In some ways I think that I miss my alone time with God. Our funny inside jokes that we shared. It seemed when I was single I had more time for Him, and Him alone. Not that He has changed, it's just that He has given me a man to love now. God is still there, it's just a different relationship for now.
My grandmother was a widow for most of my life and she had this quiet relationship with God, she knew one day in His kingdom she would be united with her husband again. I guess she set a good example for me.
There truly are seasons to life and as we go through these seasons, some are dark and lonely and some are fulfilling and beautiful. But we can not appreciate joy if we have never experienced sorrow.
When my husband died, I, too, thought I needed a boyfriend. It only turned into a situation of him using me.