[Elsie]

So often, different sects of Christianity will even shun other sects, because they were the Baptist movement of 1848, instead of the one founded in 1762.

---

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

 

I shouted, "Don't do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

I said, "Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic scum!"

 

And I pushed him over.

[HungarianGypsy]

That was it. I like that one. Here is a variation I found:

A man was standing off the edge of the Sydney Harbour Bridge --about to jump. A passer-by tried to talk him down; he asked: "well, are you a Christian?" to which the man answered "yes." He exclaimed: "great, me too; what kind of Christian are you? Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant?" The answer was: "Protestant." "Me too; what kind of Protestant? Anglican, Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal?" The man got excited: "me too; are you an initial evidence or a third wave Pentecostal?" "Initial evidence." "Me too; what kind of initial evidence? Are you a AOG, CRC, COC, CCC?" "AOG." Now, he got really excited: "Me too; are you Premillenial, Post Millenial or Amillenial?" The guy on the bridge said: "Amillenial" and with that the passer-by, becoming very angry, screamed: "Die, heretic!" and pushed him off the bridge.

[Osage Orange]

ROFLOL!!

[RobRoy]

That is stinkin’ hilarious. The first thing I noticed when I started going to rural Kentucky is the plethora of different Baptist (pronounced Babdis) churches. It really is comical.