I suspect you spend a lot of time talkin to yourself...But at least you spend some time trying to analize the reality of Heaven...It’s a pity God can’t help you out there...
So we're back to the personal remarks.
Actually, this is kind of cool. It happens in one of the Dialogues. Socrates is trying to understand what Meno is saying. Meno is resisting admitting that he doesn't understand what he is saying so he starts making personal remarks about Socrates. When I was young I missed the rich insight and personal characterization in the Dialogues. Meno's friends end up being among those who have Socrates killed.
People REALLY don't like it when they are invited to look at what they are saying. It's the intellectual analog of repentance, and it's hard. So I figured that I might take a personal hit for taking what you said seriously and looking at it carefully. There is ample precedent after all.
As for where and whether God can help me, I will always ask Him for help and rely on His love, and seek more and more to speak only to Him or about Him, and pray for ever growing love of Him. What else matters when it's all done?