I say I want to "see" Jesus, but if I really thought it out I'd be afraid. Very afraid of all the terrible sins and my hypocritical life that he can see as I stand before him.
I'd stand there unable to "hide" in the crowd of people, even though he can see me clearly. Just an imaginary camouflage of billions of souls. I think to myself...."maybe he can't see little ole me".
I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be in the presence of "all goodness and hope".
The other thing is that I am still "of this Earth" in that I love my life, my house, my family, my work, all the "my, my, my's" that link me to this worldly life and distract me from him.
So there I am, as a so called "Christian" ...... hoping for salvation but still lacking in Faith that his salvation will put an end to my worries about earthly things.
Holy Week is hard, cause it shows me how far I need to go, and how little progress I've made in being a Christian.